After yesterday's visa fiasco
, I finally got a fresh set of papers and booked a new flight home. Unfortunately, the only flight available was a local carrier, known for shabby quality and low prices. I can't use my frequent flyer miles
on this new airline
. Darn. Paid in cash
. Anyways, there were many flight newbies
onboard. I suspect many people on my flight home today is on their first ever plane trip.
The gasps of fear and vomiting amused me while I stewed in my rage over yesterday's events. Flight newbies tend to be more active on the plane than the bored vets of air travel.
- Boarding - Excitement. As soon as the gates open, they all queue up immediately. I can smell their anticipation. They often bug the airline people for window seats. I hate window seats. Can't get out into the aisle to go to the bathroom and stuff without stepping over folks.
- Takeoff - Excitement turns to either fear or even more excitement. Retch! The backwards crush of takeoff makes some people throw up. The Concorde is especially infamous, it accelerates much faster than the regular commerical jets. The kids, on their first flight, stand up on their seats, drawing warnings from the stewardesses.
- Turbulence - Ahh, how fun. The people cower in their seats with the seat belt buckled tightly, clutching their seats, knuckles turning white. Flight newbies act as if turbulence can wreck the plane. I'm not surprised. The wings shake, the airframe buckles. More vomit. People with a fear of flying start screaming. It is very annoying, I've been on a couple flights where a person had to be sedated with drugs.
- Descent - The initial jerk of the start of descent draws a gasp from the collective newbies. Their ears start to hurt, because they don't know about "ear popping". The kids hold their heads in agony and start to cry. The stewardesses help by giving them candy to suck on, which effectively relieves the pain. When going through the clouds during descent, the shaking of the plane draws more vomiting.
- Landing - I've seen people pass out from fear when the plane brakes. I guess the whoosing of the air was too much for them. Some lose all blood in their faces and pray when the plane bumps the ground. More vomit when they exit the plane.
Usually, flight newbies
lose their jitteryness after a couple flights, but some develop a nasty fear of flying
, and never fly again. Oh well, their loss. I'm sick of the all the vomiting
anyways. These people become hysterical
as soon as the plane moves. Pray you don't get seated next to one of these people. In addition, avoid little kids like the plague
on planes. They scream
all the time.