The days get colder and shorter. The nights get lonlier as he wishes for somebody to warm his body.

Pets are like masturbation; cheap and unsatisfying substitutes for actual human companionship. He has a cat.

In all of human interaction and society, there is one question which my mind sticks on: If there are so many people who all want the same thing, and they are the only ones who can grant it, why does no one ever do so?