forgive me, my readers, i have sinned. i have not written in ten days, but oh, what a ten days it has been. i'll try to just hit the high points, more in order of importance than in chronological order. due to a vicious intestinal virus, i have no sense of chronology and i am coldsweating.

Rhapsody in Screwed :: Part XIII
06.27.01 :: 23:56

Kissing the Arse of St. John the Divine: a weekend in new york. christ. where to begin...begin at the beginning i s'pose. at 05:30 last saturday morning, i left niall zonked out in my tiny bed, and went to the airport to set out on what was to be a hellicious adventure. i got out of albuquerque without a hitch, but the trouble came when, after sprinting half the length of the dallas airport, i learned that my flight to new york had been cancelled. ok, i could get on standby for one that left in 20 minutes, and i got confirmed for the one that left two hours later. i proceeded to sprint the length of two terminals once again after calling my mother and explaining the problem. i did not wind up on the early flight. i called my mother again, and ate a few granola bars from my supply. i was only about two gates down from where my flight was to leave from. i was unconcerned, until fifteen minutes before the flight, when i looked at the time lisitngs, and realised that the flight had been moved to the other end of the airport. you guessed it: more running like a fool. during this sprint, i thought i saw a dear friend of mine and when i whirled around to find what turned out not to be him, my momentum carried me into the book rack of a nearby newsstand. tripping, i fell into a clumsy leap, and hit the ground running. as i skidded into the gate, i noticed the board behind the counter declared my flight to have been moved again, this time halfway across the airport. again. i turned and ran, glad it had also been delayed 10minutes. six minutes later i slid into the gate, and boarded the flight to new york. mid flight, i found out that in the shuffle my request for a vegetarian meal had been lost. more granola bars for me. finally arriving at la guardia, i bounced, ok more like trudged, off the plane into the waiting arms of my...oh shit! no one was there to pick me up! some forty five minutes later, my cousin-in-law found me sulking by the information desk, and we were off. she was the only sane face i saw for 24hours. i'll spare you the family crap, but let it be said, it was only 17:00 (my time, not ny time) and i'd been up for 12 hours already on two hours of sleep. i was confused, tired, and astoundingly hungry. i didn't get to bed for another five hours because my aunt decided that it was the perfect opportunity to show me off to her inlaws, and quiz me about my life and religious beliefs. finally, i just crashed. the next morning was wild, but after 10 hours of sleep i was a bit better prepared. i was still confused, though, and my stomach felt funny. i attributed it to eating nothing but granola bars and szechuan eggplant the preceding day. finally, after much ado, we all packed off to the city, to the cathedral of st. john the divine for my aunt's ordination ceremony. two hours of wanting to shoot myself while listening to people mumble, sitting in a straight-backed wooden chair, and getting high off the incense. this did nothing for my confusion. upon the conclusion of th ceremony, we drove back to long island for the reception, complete with afghani food. this did nothing for the virus i had brewing in my intestines. i bullshitted with my uncle paul for a while about our pending trip to rome, and then went to bed. not to sleep, tho, just to get away from the insanity. i read a john grisham novel. the next morning, my aunt took me out to a fantastic jewish deli, where i got enough knishes and pierogies to take some home with me. that afternoon, i got on the plane to come home, and again got delayed in dallas. not too bad that time, only half an hour. i walked up to some blue-haired kid who was flying to albuquerque, but was, surprisingly, not someone i knew, and said "excuse me, but why the fuck are you flying to albuquerque?" i've always wanted to say that to someone. to make a long story short, he was visiting. the rest of the trip home was uneventful, except that when i got off the plane, once again, no-one was there. my mother showed up a few minutes later and took me home. by 06:30, niall was in bed with me, and all was right with the world, except, ov course, that i still have this fucking intestinal virus...

in other news, niall's mom does not want to be seen in public with me, and does not want me at her daughter's wedding this weekend. she is outvoted. the rest of the family likes me fine. her issue? i have too many piercings in all the wrong places. (i have four in one ear, one in the other, one eyebrow, and my nose)

duct tape night! i have shaved almost my entire body to accomodate tomorrow's duct tape extravaganza. i'll be dressed (or undressed, as the case may be) as circuit breaker, the robot killer from the old transformers comics. i'll be wearing a duct tape bikini and circuit patterns.

and that's all for now, because i have to write my final paper for class tomorrow....