A lot of my opponents think they're playing it safe when they come at me with beam-intensive characters, like Iceman or Iron Man. And they might be right. Living Howitzers like that can seriously jack me up with a single attack.

They hang out downtown at the far side of the screen, gleefully beaming flak across the entire width of the arena instantly. They typically snag me 6 times per beam, ripping through my hapless body with psychopathic indifference. Even if I defend, the attack still chips at my life bar with each hit. If I was reckless enough to fight as one of the pixies, like Psylocke, a series of well-placed lasers will do a fair amount of damage in no time whether I block or not.

It's so easy to win with Iron Man. Anybody can win that way.

But as a foolhardy braggart who is definitely reckless enough to fight with pixies, like Psylocke, I've had a lot of practice not getting hit at all. Evasive maneuvers demand more than mere reflexes. I already know you're going to lay a 3-foot high layer of flak over the ground at all times. I have to predict and intuit my way around it, and by now I've gotten pretty graceful at that.

You'll see me weave artfully up and down around your flak, Yossarian-style. I'll end up right in front of you; your jaw agape with frustration and incredulity; me so quick to bust with my modest 10-hit air combo and a taunt for good measure (I win half my battles on intimidation alone). You'll have to take my word for it, but really, it's fucking spectacular.

The flip side of my strategy is that since an isolated hit from Psylocke won't do shit, I have to chain every single hit into a vigorous combo on my opponent. It's so easy to lose if you blow even a single chance to smack that Iron bitch around a few times. He must not be allowed to fire off another fatal Proton Cannon.

Anybody can lose that way.