I'm pissed at all the incompetence and ignorance that abounds in this world. (Hear me out, this is not a complete rant.) Us folks in this place here are some thinkin' people - and so I know I am not alone in my feelings, or at the very least in my recognizing the myriad of complexities making up "what's wrong with the world." But so what? First off, I'm an American. I'm not even going to touch that one for today. Today I have a specific target: the SUV. Not a new target of mine or anyone else's, just the symbol that's drawn my disgust of the hour. Give me credit, I Know that there are multitudes of intrinsic flaws in human nature are not easy to "fix." The human-animal being what it is makes "utopia" an unattainable human construct. Looks great in the mind, won't work on paper. Kinda like jet-setting around the universe at the speed of light. Not in this lifetime.

Things like one's "Earth vehicle" of choice however, are as easy to CHANGE as what you eat for lunch. (Salad vs. McDonald's Super Size "Extra Value" Meal... ah America's Waist Line.) This whole SUV (and lots of other large, inefficient cars) driving thing is disgusting. There's no reason for it. And America's (as a whole) refusal to recognize what's bad about many of their lifestyle choices is even more disgusting. Everywhere I look, I see people getting self-righteous about their Ignorance! "It's mah got-damn right to drive what I want to, I don't see nutin wrong wit it." Riiiight.

Now to point. I'm sure some of you noders out there are very wonderful, well-informed, SUV driving creatures. I'm not (really) trying to bash anyone on the head, but please, stop to think before you let yourself or anyone you know buy a NEW one of those monstrosities. And here for your enjoyment is my version of a little top 10 list some local activists I know created. Cut it, Paste it, Make copies of it... Stick it under people's windshield wipers. Steal the fuck out of this list. Spread it around. Or at least, have a little chuckle.

The Top 10 Reasons SUV'S Aren't So Cool Anymore

    10. GLOBAL WARMING. - The average SUV emits nearly double the amount of C02 as even a large sized sedan. (A Ford Taurus, for example.) And I don't give a damn what the Republicans say, global warming is as real as your smelly feet.

    9. THEY INCREASE AMERICA'S DEPENDENCE ON FOSSIL FUELS. - So we end up kissing ass to oppressive regimes in the Middle East and now even in central Asia. What makes the Taliban any different from the Saudi monarchy? Oil. Sad but true. And as for drilling in Alaska... don't even get me started.

    8. THEY MAKE US FORGET WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT. - By insisting on driving gas-guzzling SUV's, we're letting other countries get way ahead of us in terms of innovative ways to power vehicles. In many senses, this goes beyond the SUV to every gas powered American car but the SUV is really the epitome of the situation. Go to Europe for a day. See what they're driving.

    7. THEY'RE NOT VERY SEXY - There's nothing nimble or graceful or curvaceously hot about those metal boxes. I don't care if you've got an Escalade with 22" rims. If an SUV were an American football player, it would be a high bodyfat offensive lineman. It's 2002 - maybe it's time to drive a running back. Or better yet, a real football player. A forward perhaps.

    6. SUV'S PLAY INTO THE BAD THINGS PEOPLE SAY ABOUT US. - People around the world say Americans are selfish and pampered. Maybe we are, maybe we aren't. But a whole lot of us are driving gas-guzzling, C02 emitting, massive (and disgustingly UNESSECARY) 4WD vehicles just to buy mocha lattes and go to the mall.

    5. UNLESS YOU USE YOUR SUV TO GO THUMPING UP MOUNTAINS, IT LOOKS SILLY. - Like wearing an outdoor vest, hiking shorts and a poncho to the movies. You might as well strap a canteen on your back and wrap yourself in mosquito netting. Who are you kidding? That "hip", "rugged" feeling is all a commercial illusion served up to you on a silver TV screen by some giganto corporation. And you bought it. In fact, you probably paid over $25,000 for it. I'm sorry.

    4. WHAT WOULD JESUS DRIVE? - Probably a donkey. Buddha would definitely walk. I can see The Holy Father on a bicycle. Moses did quite a bit of trekking around, he might have opted for a moped. Allah prefers camels. Most of the Hindu Deities get to hop on elephants, or in taxicabs if it's raining. If Jesus struck it rich he would splurge on one of those new MINI's. He thinks they're quite fetching. He told me just yesterday that he wants it in canary yellow.

    3. THEY'VE BECOME THE YUPPIE VEHICLE OF CHOICE. - And no one wants to be a yuppie, not even yuppies. Bunko and Botox anyone?

    2. THEY ROLL OVER. - Go ahead, make a really sharp turn while you're driving fast. I dare you. And there is that additional bonus of the exploding tires, but I think that was mostly cleared up.

    1. OSAMA BIN LADEN DRIVES AN SUV. - This very second, CIA operatives are monitoring Predator spy drones in the Middle East and Central Asia looking out for any luxury SUV's. Feel silly yet?

To give some background on my momentarily elevated levels of horror listen to the what all I heard today:

First: A friend of mine's parents are trading in their 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee for a 2002 model of the exact same car. Just newer. They like that new car smell. This'll be their 4th or 5th SUV. Why? Because they go to the beach Twice A Year for five days at a time, and so they "need" a car that can drive on the beach in case they decide that they want to.

Second: A guy I know is selling his 1997 Ford Mustang and getting a 2002 Ford Explorer Special Edition. Why? Because he's a big guy. He's not that big. 6'2", MAYBE. Oh yeah, and he plays hockey. "Well, didn't all your hockey equipment fit in the Mustang?" "Sure, I just wanted more space for it." "Um... ok."

Third: The neighbors of my parents have two small children. They are selling their Cadillac and buying a 2002 Dodge Durango so that they have room for the kids. They already own a mini van.

And lastly, can anyone REALLY tell me what "Sport Utility" REALLY means?

PS-If by chance you've seen fliers like this around your place of habitation, Please Please tell me.
PPS-I know that some of the reasons on there are from a different angle than might seem most obvious. (For instance, I don't care what Osama drives.)However this list was designed as an appeal to the masses, and I feel that those are reasons more likely to hit home with a majority.

America's On Sale

mkb seyz:sport is driving around in mud. utility is driving around in the mud on your ranch after cows. :-)

stupot seyz:The UK is going this way, too - and we don't even have SPACE over here, like you Americans do. The funniest one is travelling down my mum's single track lane, and you meet an 'offroad' vehicle... they tend to be very reluctant to drive 'off the road' and get it muddy... of course, I sit in the middle of the road in my road car :o)

Whoa. This is my most "comment-generating" (and also my most heavily downvoted) write-up to date. Apparently cars are as hot button a topic as... well, I won't name names. In my defense as to a softlink below (pardon me if it was directed at another write-up here, but I think that is not so), I'm "not a hippie." Thank you. We can talk labels too if you'd like.

The people who stand beside me on this issue, I hear you loud and clear. Cut and Paste the hell out of the list if you so desire. Please. To those against me, message me and let's talk.

Despite all that, I still stand 100% behind everthing I've said.