Every time I have ever fallen in love
, it has been for good.
I was poignantly
reminded of this when my most recent ex-girlfriend called me a week ago, out of the blue. She asked me if I was going to come up and visit
her. I said why not this weekend
.. so there you have it, I drove up in the middle
of Friday night
to see her. And it was wonderful and horrid at the same time... because it was so great to see her again, but at the same time, it wasn't. She was the one person I felt I had everything
in common with, a connection
with, all that.. and we just sorta fell back into the comfortable closeness
that sharing a brain
with someone has. At the same time, I had to swallow the fact
that I could never hold her
quite like I once did, I could never kiss her
with the passion
that I still had for her. She still has a huge part
of me, tied to her heart
, and the knife she left in my soul twisted deeper when we cried on each other's shoulders for the pain
we both suffered.
I don't want that piece of me back. I gave it to her willingly once, and it is hers forever now.