Three people say this to me in the last couple of years.

One when I am crying after a sermon about really listening to people. I say why I am crying and what the sermon has stirred up.

"Have you got help?" she says.

I don't understand. Then the meaning sinks in. "You mean a counselor?" I say, drawing back. Well, so much for that sermon.

The other two are about my house. My house is a mess. But I have been a single mother full time doctor started my own business sister died father died handled the estate and got very ill twice.... since 2007. So I joke that I am cleaning up nine years of single mother full time doctor. But it is true.

And I am taking my time. What is the hurry? It has been nine years. Over the last three days I have three paper bags full to take out to recycling. I take 100 magazines to the library box for free magazines. I have a pile of books to return. One I opened to see if it was mine. Inside the front cover it says, "This book stolen from DB." Heh. Ok. I moved furniture around on Saturday and Sunday but I changed my mind and will move it more. But not, perhaps, until after my daughter's three week visit home from college....

"You need help," they say and start telling me to hire them or someone to choose which books and objects to get rid of.

My friend L doesn't say that. He says, "I keep Ferocious Monster on a leash in your house. Otherwise I'm afraid I'll never find him again!" He doesn't do that anyhow. Ferocious Monster roams around and my cat looks at me to make sure that this peon is not going to stay.

Sometimes what I need is time to think about what I want.... not what the other person thinks I should want.

That is what a real friend is. Someone who waits to see what you will do. Love and curiosity....

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