Because I did not know that you had this power over me.
Because I can only wish that I have the same power over you.

Across miles and miles, and I can feel you sometimes seeping through in small ways. Can feel warm breath on cold neck, can feel fingertips on the small of my back. And it is all real as it will ever be but it is not you.

Could I sweep you off your feet electronically? All of you? Let you in on a piece of me that is yours and yours alone. Would you take that? What do I get from you in return?
Have we always meant for it to be an even trade?

Here is what you are to me: words and words and words. And beautiful ones at that. You asked me once if it was a competition and the answer is how could I ever compete with adjectives and pronouns?

I just can't.

Here is the list of things that keep me from leaving this place: her. Beautiful and sweet and more in love with me than I am with her. But she is mine and she is here. And I am in love just with the idea of running fingers through hair and taking care of the details.

I will always be in the details.

Do I get to be honest here? Do I get to let out that one tiny piece of truth that will bring all of you to me and take all of me away? Do I get to be human? Yes and no both in very real ways.

When it is she and I all alone, are you aware that I am thinking what it would be like if you were there? All of you? When you feel that sudden silence as I touch her, do you smile, knowing it should be you?

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.