Retarded, or slowed, ejaculation is a condition existing, at various
strengths, in approximately one in ten men at some point in their lives,
although only one in a hundred will seek medical advice for this condition.
Retarded ejaculation can mean only being able to orgasm and ejaculate under
very specific conditions to total anorgasmia - being unable to orgasm and
ejaculate under any circumstances.
A man suffering retarded ejaculation at the less serious end of the scale, if
he discusses the problem with a wide audience, is likely to be met with envy.
Many men consider the "ability" to maintain an erection for long
periods of time a blessing, and may jovially offer to swap...
This is not helpful.
Men with low-level retarded ejaculation can maintain erection for long
periods, and therefore "enjoy" prolonged intercourse, but they
cannot achieve orgasm in shorter times. Needing upwards of thirty minutes
of PIV stimulation is not a blessing.
If you are the partner of a man with retarded ejaculation it is important to
remember that, just as with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation,
a man suffering retarded ejaculation is likely to feel dreadful if his
partner seems very upset.
It is not your fault. He does love you. He does want you.
His body is just having some trouble. If you can show that you accept that, you
will actually be helping him to recover.
Some of the physical causes of retarded ejaculation are:
Injuries to nerves from causes such as:
Accidents involving the pelvis
Operations in the pelvic region
Conditions which may cause pain during intercourse such as:
Certain prescribed drugs, particularly antidepressants, can affect the
Some of the emotional causes of retarded ejaculation are:
Anxiety and Stress.
Worries about work, money, children or any other facet of a man's life can
interfere with his sexual response.
Just as women are brought up with certain attitudes
towards sex and sexuality, so are men. Men are trained to believe that
they are solely responsible for the pleasure of both partners in any
sexual experience, and this can lead to a subconcious over-emphasis on
pleasing one's partner to the exclusion on one's own pleasure.
Treatment of retarded ejaculation differs from cause to cause.
Retarded ejaculation due to problems such as phimosis and frenulum breve is
relatively simple to solve, as simple and effective treatments are available
for these conditions. Nerve damage due to accident or operations is a more
serious matter, as there seems to be no "cure" for this. It's simply a
matter of waiting to see if the nerves manage to repair themselves. If retarded
ejaculation is due to a prescription drug, changing the drug will usually be
effective with a matter of weeks.
Emotionally caused retarded ejaculation is treated in much the same manner as
female anorgasmia. The patient and his partner are given exercises to complete
both together and alone. These exercises typically involve masturbation accompanied
by deliberately fantasising sexual intercourse, changing gradually from the
man masturbating himself, to his partner masturbating him, to his partner
getting him to enter her on the point of orgasm.
For most men with this problem, retarded ejaculation is a temporary hiccup
in a sexual life which, for the most part, is quite satisfactory.