a friend of mine from back in the day, Brandon Mullins, had a car, a true early 80s POS car (perhaps a 1982 toyota corolla? my memory is a bit fuzzy). it got him around, but just barely. it had a top speed of about 50 mph and just enough power to pull a greased string out of a cat's ass if you were going downhill. a lovely two-tone color scheme of grey and rust nicely offset the plumes of smoke it would occasionally belch into the air.

one of the most interesting features of this car was it's random starting mechanism. sometimes it would start. sometimes not. there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to why it would or wouldn't start. Brandon finally figured out what would make it start: the jesus stick

a seemingly innocent piece of purple plastic about 2' in length, it contained enough of the divine to cause miracles under the hood. originally part of a locker divider, it found it's way into the back floorboard of his car near the end of one school year. it's divine intervention was first put to use sometime during that summer when Brandon, disgusted at his piece of shit car that wouldn't start, took this stick and violently poked about in the engine compartment. Lo and behold! the vehicle started!

being the son of a preacher, Brandon quickly realised the stick was divine intervention, meant for him alone. since then, he kept the jesus stick in the back floorboard of his car (among empty beverage containers, trash, shoes and other random refuse), ready to be retrieved at a moment's notice. as far as i know, it never failed to rout the demons responsible for his car not starting.

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