Boys, down here we don't take this "hamburger" crap lightly. You will find that there are Secret Places where you can order a hubcap hamburger.

Do I have to spell it out for you?

It's the size of a freaking hubcap. And I ain't talkin' 'bout no Datsun. We're talkin' Buick or Chevy. Ready for one? Want fries with that? I'd suggest the onion rings.

Seriously, if you are ever in down South and get offered a hubcap hamburger, do not try to eat it yourself. It will be a 47 napkin affair. A good burger should only be a 15 napkin affair.

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