Dwile flonking is a particularly odd pub game in played in England.

To Play

Dwile flonking requires two teams and an umpire to hold court. One team start as fielders, and form a circle, known as a girter around a member of the opposing team, known as a flonker. The flonker is armed with a two foot stick known as a driveller, and at his feet is placed a large bucket of beer, with a cloth in it known as the dwile (a word apparently stemming from a Norfolk term for a dishcloth).

The game start with the members of the girter dancing in one direction, whilst the flonker spins the opposite way round. The flonker flonks the dwile at the opposing team, by snagging it from the bucket with the driveller, and flicking it backwards over his head, and trying to hit one of the people in the girter. Scores are based on the part of the body hit by the dwile

Head shot (known as a wanton) - 3 points
Body shot (known as a marther or a morther) - 2 points
Leg shot (known as a ripple or a ripper) - 1 point

A miss is known as swage and two swages equals pot. If you are unfortunate enough to pot you must down a pint from the bucket before the dwile can be passed round the girter, and the next member of the team steps up to play. When all the team members have played their turn , the two sides switch places and start all over again. Each rotation is known as a snurd, and there are two snurds per side in a game. To keep the game interesting, the umpire randomly switches the direction of the dancing, and levies drinking fines on those not taking the game seriously enough. The main aim of this pastime seems to be to get as many people as drunk as possible.


There are numerous stories as to the origin of this downright bizarre game. One claims that it is a traditional game, handed down from the mists of English history, another claims it was invented by a pair of printers from Suffolk in 1966, yet another attributes it to visiting American airmen based at Ellough Airfield in the Second World War.

Sources include

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