One of the most interetsing parts of college dorm life is the men's room, which has its own strange form of men's room etiquette. In my experiences at the Univeristy of Rochester, things generally go something like this:

First and foremost, it is a major faux pas to pick the wrong toilet. In every men's room, there will be several toilet stalls. At least one of these will be perfectly clean, in working order, the seat absolutely pristine. Toilet paper will be present (and not soaked in urine), the stall door will close and lock. All other stalls will be fairly grotesque, covered in urine, vomit, chunks of wet toilet paper, the doors may not close, the toilet may not flush, etc.. For some reason, this is especially the case on Sundays, after long weekends of drinking at frat parties. However, this one clean toilet.. this toilet is the shitter, and may be used for absolutely no other purpose. Any male using a bathroom not on his own hallway ought to have respect enough to look for the appropriate stall when doing his business.

After this, there are other general rules to observe. First, conversation is not as restricted as in most men's rooms. While certainly not approaching the level of the ladies' room gossip, friendly, limited conversation is almost always welcome. This is more true in front of the sinks while shaving or whatever than in the stalls, where exaggurated sounds of bodily functions are more the norm.

Everybody whacks off in the shower, but nobody admits to it.

Some people pee in the shower, but only when noone else is in the shower -- they tend to have common drains. I don't think anybody admits to this, either.

Sex in the shower is against the University rules (commonly called the "four feet in the shower rule"), but nobody will ever report you for it. That said, it is kind of rude, and should only be done late at night when it will provide as little disturbance to others as possible. A person entering the bathroom while this is going on ought to make it well known that he is present. A loud "yeah, way to go!" should suffice.

Nobody ever takes anything from the shower caddy of a person in the shower, nor does anybody ever take a person's towel. I used to be terribly fearful that someone would attempt such a prank, then I realized: nobody takes their towel into the shower with them. Do unto others...

One should note that proper etiquette ought to call for rinsing hair out of the sink after shaving. In reality, this doesn't happen too often.

However, should one forget something in the bathroom, it will almost always still be there when one returns to find it, left alone and untouched. The one notable exception to this is soap, because most guys will forget to bring their own.

Guys sitting in stalls are off-limits for water gun fights. Guys in showers generally are not (though you need mighty cold water for them to notice...)

Some say the rules all change when a woman is present, as will happen from time to time in a college dorm. I say this is hogwash, for the men's room is a venerable sanctuary where testosterone and stupidity reign supreme. If a woman is there, it's her choice to witness the gratuitous belching, farting, and watever other tomfoolery may be going on. Any chick who's cool enough to be in the men's room will probably be a willing participant, anyway.

Last year, there was one guy on my hallway who always started conversations with people. He'd just hang out in the bathroom and talk to whoever wandered in. People didn't like him very much. The last thing you want on a Sunday afternoon is to walk into the bathroom with a terrible hangover, sit down on the toilet, and have some guy with a high-pitched, squeaky voice, try to start a conversation.

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