The following transcript records the conversation held in the offices of Mssrs. (REDACTED) and (REDACTED) immedieately prior to the termination of their employment. Our audio monitors were able to trace the phone call the gentlemen made as well, and obtain the recording of that conversation, so that we could place it at the beginning in order to give context for what follows.

Phone call made by (REDACTED) to Ms. (REDACTED) on June 7, 2021



"We're watching you."


"We can see everything you do."

"I see. So if I decide to masturbate to cannibal porn, you're watching that too?"


"Fascinating! I'll get right on it."

"No, wait! I didn't mean -- "


Conversation recorded in room

"Somebody's going to have to watch that, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Fortunately there's a guy in here who likes cannibal porn."

"How did you figure that out?"

"Same way we figure out everything."

"Wait, you mean we're watching each other too?"


"So you can see me in the toilet and everything?"


"And you saw me that one time doing that one -- "

"That too."

"Oh my God, Harry."

"What? What did you think we were doing?"

"Spying on people, but I didn't think...I mean, not on each other!"

"We're supposed to be watching everybody, Bob! It's in our job description! What, you want us to be hypocrites? You want us to be above the law?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. I don't like being watched. Do you?"


"I guess we should have thought of that when we signed up, huh?"

"Yeah. You know what, Bob? This job sucks. Why don't we blow this joint?"

"Sounds like a good idea. Speaking of joints, I have a few back at my place, if you want a hit."

"I already know."


"Come on, Bob. Let's just stow it, okay? No more spying, I promise."


"Well...maybe a little eavesdropping."

"AUGH! let's just get out of here before they realize we're quittin—"


At this point, the two were vaporized. Our organization cannot have our employees escaping, nor can we have them reveal our presence by making threatening phone calls. Our mission is to gather information, not to intimidate. 

That being said, we ought to vaporize Ms. (REDACTED) as well to be on the safe side. We cannot be too careful.

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