Do you know what the silliest human concept is, in a single
word? "Religion," you say? Damn. All right, I'll settle for the second
silliest word. "Freedom?" Twice a pox on your first-born! You're
making trouble again, aren't you? Won't you people let me make a simple point?
No, I speak not of religion or freedom. I speak, dear friends, of that
obnoxious little word: war.
Three short letters combined to make an equally short word. The first
letter, W, is alone longer than the word it helps to create, when pronounced
out loud. "Double-you."
The second letter, A, is certainly innocuous and gentle.
The third letter, R... well, I'm not exactly what to make of it, so it
presently falls under the category of "mostly harmless," as letters
Put them all together, however, and they form a word that is small in
stature but massive in scope. How can a word so small mean so much
to so many people?
For such a small word "war" is fairly versatile. Countless derivatives
of it exist. Warmonger; warrior; war-like; war hound; warship; warble (a
discontinuity of words, or a war of words that is perceived as
unintelligible)... the list, I'm sure, goes on. But I'm not really interested in
its grammatical tomfoolery in English. Nay, I would rather inspect its real
Mankind has "enjoyed" a grand history with war. From jihads of Old
Persia to the "Cold War," it's become as regular as menses- we can
almost set our clocks by it. Indeed, many people do and have
centered their daily routines around war- not just military personnel, either,
but average citizens from all walks of life. For literally millions of people,
perhaps billions, worldwide, war is as significant as bread and butter, a
Through the ages war was pretty innocent, as "innocent" as
altruistic destruction can be, growing more sophisticated with its progenitors.
The "bigger" Mankind got, in relation to mass transit, communication,
religion, commerce, exploration and so forth, war got "bigger" to compensate.
Bigger bombs, higher fatality rates, smarter weapons, faster vehicles, quicker
response times, tougher soldiers, sterner defenses, more invasive offenses...
bigger, better, faster, more. At this point in history Mankind can
communicate instantaneously across two hemispheres within seconds. It only
makes sense, given its steady record of growth, that war is capable of
devastation at an equally alarming rate.
Get this: In 1939, when research and development on the atomic bomb was just
gaining steam, killing off 10,000,000 people with conventional weapons of the
time would take upwards of 20 years. As of 1979 it was possible to eliminate, unquestionably, the same number of
human lives within 20 minutes, from launch to strike, with atomic ballistic
missiles. That was in 1979, before the popularity of the Internet struck the
world like an avalanche. In the year 2000, now, levels of communication
have amazingly enough increased. War was up to the task of keeping up,
wouldn't you know it? Now, in 20 minutes, it is possible to eliminate 2 billion
(!!!!!) human beings, and in some cases launching a missile isn't even
necessary. For such a small word "war" certainly boasts considerable
strength. 20 minutes and it's "Goodbye, Humanity," lest we overlook nuclear fallout.
So what's the root of the problem? Overpopulation? Mass communication? Mass
transit? Television? Us? Perhaps combinations of all five and more. One
thing is certain, though: war, which seems to have a life of its own, is
keeping pace with humanity. Is anyone really concerned about this? Some,
yes, but nowhere near enough, I think. World War One broke out almost
overnight- no one saw it coming save for a spare few. Those who did
expect the "war to end all wars" (which was followed by another one,
greater in scope, some 20 years later) were treated with disdain and ridicule.
They gave us fair warning and were "politely" told how ludicrous
their claims were. "Don't rock the boat," Mankind collectively told
them. "There is no war coming, that's just your imagination." So they
shut up and shook their heads in disappointment. Were they rocking the
boat? I'll bet a few million Jews wish they'd rocked a lot harder the second
And here we are, again, with more weapons of mass destruction than we know
what to do with (blowing up the world once is all it takes. After that,
subsequent global demolitions are moot because there won't be anyone left to
demolish) and people live in blissful ignorance of it. Strike that. Everyone is
frightened by the prospect of all-out nuclear war, but very few
people can truly comprehend its potential magnitude in sheer numbers. If the
average person understood, exactly, what they were facing every day, supposing
enough people could read adequately, then we would all implore
our governments to hurl every last nuclear weapon into the sun and forget about
Here's the clincher, though: war is necessary. Without it we wouldn't
be able to control our population's growth in numbers. At present the world has
roughly 6,200,000,000 people in it. Sooner or later, probably sooner, Mankind
will have to cull the herd in order to quell perceived notions of
overcrowding (I say "perceived" because... well... there are almost
twice as many cows on the planet, which are bigger than your average human, and
the ecology is getting along just fine with the cows, so there is plenty of
room for us humans, even at 12 billion... it's all a notion, IMHO). Another
world war, with a significantly higher body count than the previous two, is
almost inevitable. Remember how war comes as regularly as menses? Menses is
derived from the expulsion of an abundance of "excess baggage," shall
we say. It's a natural phenomenon in the human body.
Compare that simple analogy to Mankind as a whole. This planet and its
inhabitants are definitely organic in their behavior. We've become
increasingly aware of our human equivalent to "excess baggage"
recently- so many social ills plague us, all of them perpetuated by our
"brothers and sisters." Eventually Mankind will have to do its
organic and biological duty and eliminate that useless mass of itself, the
"idiots" of the world. How to do this quickly? Simple: war.
This time, however, we can expect the purge to be catastrophic in its
impact- the "Big Bleed", as it were; a severe, self-induced excision
of that which has become most useless to us: ourselves. War on every corner. It
doesn't necessarily have to involve ICBMs, though every indicator points
to it, but it will come. If it doesn't, we might have an even more
troublesome problem on our hands: an overabundance of idiots... that're
reproducing fast. Who wants a world full of dummies? Cull the herd, we
Just give me fair warning so that I will have time to head for the hills of
safety, if there is any. Consider this your warning. I'm not so
gifted as to be able to offer dates, but expect the big purge to come soon. As
for me? I'm packing. You'd do good to follow suit. Don't forget your