Editorial Notes Provided Upon The Submission Of A Node

A play in one act.

Enter mauler.

MAULER (sighs): Maybe people think making these nodes is going to deter me from the quest.

Dramatic pause.

But they would be wrong! Still, it is sad to see 2 editors engaging in these efforts to subvert the purpose of the quest, which is to encourage real experimentation.

Enter Excalibre.

EXCALIBRE: It's funny when you see a joke, and then you see it again told by someone else right away!

Excalibre exits, then promptly re-renters, wearing a fake moustache.

EXCALIBRE: It's funny when you see a joke, and then you see it again told by someone else right away!

Exit Excalibre. Enter Heisenberg, in full pirate regalia.

HEISENBERG: Everything is Art. Wasn't that what Andy Warhol said?

Enter Jack, carrying a bottle like a grudge.

JACK (in a faux British accent): Yeah, but he's dead. You have a habit of taking literary advice from the dead, do you?

Lights go down. Spotlight stage left. Enter TheDeadGuy into spotlight.


Spotlight appears on Jack, frozen in mid-swig.

should I take that comment personal like?

Lights back up. TheDeadGuy lays down on the floor, dead.

HEISENBERG: This is not anti quest. This is experimental.

Mauler pulls a sheet of paper from his pocket, puts on reading glasses, and recites from the page.

MAULER: "This is a node that was solely created to fill the PQ criteria."

HEISENBERG (brandishing sword): Klaproth ahoy!

Heisenberg charges offstage. Enter XWiz.

XWIZ: I did harbour a vague hope that, like Butterfinger McFlurry, my node would be universally reviled and loved at the same time. It's only half commentary on the quest, Mauler; certainly it isn't intended to put you off.

Exit XWiz and Jack, leaving mauler alone on the stage. With TheDeadGuy's corpse. Mauler pauses, then sadly whistles, "Yo Ho, Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life For Me)" as he exits the stage.


Based on actual editorial notes on Heisenberg's node.

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