In the summer of 2000, my father had hernia surgery. The day after the operation, when he was back at home, he sent out an email regarding how it went, and he included the following "Ten Commandments".

1. Thou shalt not cough.
2. Thou shalt not sneeze.
3. Thou shalt not stoop or bend over.
4. Thou shalt learn to gather up all necessities of life (drinks, snacks, pillows, covers, remote controls, etc.) before getting into the recliner.
5. Thou shalt never move about the house without the cordless telephone at thy side.
6. Thou shalt not rent movies or watch TV shows that maketh one laugh.
7. Thou shalt not roll over in bed during the night without fear of being awakened by sharp pains.
8. Thou shall take all prescribed pain medication with great joy as directed.
9. Thou shalt nap with enthusiasm once a comfortable position has been found.
10. Thou shalt be extremely thankful it's over.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.