Saw this yet again on Facebook. There was some kind of new discovery about the clitoris, accomplished by a team of female researchers. Many of the comments were gags, variants by women to the tune of "the male researchers were still trying to find said organ". 

We aren't blind, nor do our fingers not work. Not only do most men consume photos of exposed and in many cases spread vulvas, but because of health class and many jokes about the importance of the clitoris and so forth yes, most men are pretty cognizant of where it is. Unless we're fumbling ourselves into you in the back seat of a Camaro at a drive-in chances are we've been looking at, licking, touching and otherwise being generally aware of yours - its size, and so forth.

Fair enough: there are incredibly selfish lovers out there. They happen to be few and far between. And most guys who are terrible at what they do simply have never had anyone explain to them that what they are doing does absolutely nothing for anyone else.

Even in the dark - it's pretty obvious how to find it. Touch around until you feel labia, slide fingers along same in a direction away from the anus and at some point a laptop mouse type Dell notebook "nub" will find itself under your fingers.

Most men don't know (nor do a lot of women) that the clitoris is more than the visible portion but has "tentacles" coming off it that go in a wishbone shape inside the body.

So wait: why the meme? We know where it is. Unlike you, we can actually see it without the aid of a mirror.

The core problem is that the joke is pretty unclear, what it actually means is "men have no idea what to do with it". And this is pretty fair. Because it's an organ that isn't typically very large, and it's insanely sensitive, and the nerve endings on it are different for every woman - many women have tiny variations of what it means to touch her clitoris.

Some women like a finger directly on the shaft of it, grinding the finger around like you're trying to start a fire. Some like you to approach sleazily from one side and gently stroke in a butterfly lightly brushing past a flower on a summer's day fashion on one side, towards the end. Some want you to pretty much act like you're trying to scramble an egg in her labia, rolling the clitoris and both sets of labia in a large sweeping motion. One girl I knew was so upset she grabbed my hand and proceeded to move my hand between her clitoris and her urethra, insisting that the stiff tactile thing that I was working with was NOT her clitoris, but that a demilitarized zone between that and her urethra was where "it was". 

There's a solution here. 

It involves communicating your needs just as much as you need to communicate your intent, and taking a few moments to masturbate for your man showing him what, where, speed, pressure, depth and so forth. An ex girlfriend might be Bob Ross blending sky tones brush, Bob Ross blending sky tones brush, grind grind slide down plunge two fingers into vaginal canal, thrust, thrust, withdraw, circular sweep of all assembled pink wet parts, back to Bob Ross blending sky tones brush. Another might want "delicately applying shoe polish with a rag wrapped over the index finger" side-buffer action with a thumb applying strong pressure downwards internally, without moving it back and forth. Yet another might be totally into shoving two fingers in and sharply upwards, in a "motioning for someone to come over/retrieving change from a pay phone return slot" scooping/digging motion while resting a Hitachi on her mons veneris.

If you ever see men masturbating, and I've had the general misfortune of walking in on a couple of folks, the motion is REMARKABLY similar for just about everyone - (unless you're the kind of dude that likes having his testicles crushed in a mammogram type contraption with thumbscrews while shoving a lubricated steel rod down his urethra, but those men are remarkably rare). So much so that making a "ketchup bottle shaking motion" is a clear, unmistakable reference. 

Someone posted a "found item" on Reddit and it was from a partner sexuality workshop for lesbians. What this consisted of was a pre-printed crude approximation of all the various parts of the external female reproductive system, upon which you were supposed to draw arrows in various places showing place, direction, speed and pressure for your partner. The gist being "start touching here, move hand that way." Considering that women have these very self same parts and need to communicate to their partner what it is you need to do to their own, why not extend that to the poor jerks walking around with a different set of parts, ones that practically drive themselves?

Being clearer about what you really mean, and what you really want - is so much better than drinking a glass of red wine with the girls and eyerolling about how stupid and bestial the men in your lives are. If you're making that kind of joke, maybe the fella isn't the problem.

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