As if the horrendous afterbirth that was the Crazy Frog wasn't enough, the people at Jamster decided to up the ante in terms of sheer irritation factor with this... thing.

Now, as far as I know, Sweety the Chick first appeared in Germany, where it was called "Sweety der Küken" and it led to much Teutonic cursing, most likely. Unfortunately, the Germans are just as immune to horrendous tat like Sweety and the Crazy Frog (not to mention the Crazy Frog Remix - GAAAHHH!) and so Jamster brought it over here, the bastards.

What this suite of stupid shite consists of is the usual Jamster fare - the "real sound" ringtone, which is just the song, the polyphonic ringtone, the risible monophonic affair, and, surprise surprise, the video ringtone with phone wallpaper thrown in. What the video tone (to which people are subjected the most, often forcibly, mainly in TV adverts on music channels) consists of is a small, annoyingly cute little chick singing and then dancing to a dire synth tune which cuts in halfway through:

I may be small,
I may be sweet,
But baby, I can move my feet!

'Cause when I start to feel the beat,
I just wanna move my feet,
And it makes me wanna tweet,
Tweet tweeeet, tweet tweet tweeeet!

Now imagine this sheer pile of unadulterated santorum being thrust at you thrice per advert break (yes, this has happened!) with the promise that you too can waste £3.00 on something so utterly banal. The fact that people can, and do, throw money down the toilet of tasteless trash that is Jamster, on the one hand, worries me, but on the other hand, doesn't really surprise me.

Okay, so it sounds bad so far?

Enter the Tweet Tweet Remix!

This, which is simply Sweety singing to more dance-style beats, is living proof that people are, on the whole, stupid enough to spend YET ANOTHER £3.00 on what is basically a rehash of the original dire ringtone. And yes, these horrible, horrible, hunks of horse manure that pass for "fun sounds" even have a ringtone chart.

In conclusion, let us just say this. On average, the London Underground network sees one suicide attempt per week, often referred to as an incident. Let us just say that I think we should be told just how many of these are the result of being incarcerated in a carriage 50 feet underground with some stupid, unoriginal mouth-breather demonstrating and guffawing to Sweety the Chick or the Crazy Frog repeatedly with their friend, with no means of escape.

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