1.
Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray
cats will not be fed anything except
dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little
milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and
leftover fish sraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unneccessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at
certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in y.
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the
furniture.
12. Sray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen
claws on the really good furniture.
13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must
sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope
cat-scratching post with three perches.
14. Stray cats will answer the
call of nature outdoors in the
sand.
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh n Sweet
kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded
litter pan with a three-panel
privacy screen and plenty of
head room.
17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will sleep in the
garage.
19. Stray cats will sleep in the
house.
20. Stray cats will sleep in a
cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic
lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our
bed.
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the
computer keyboard on the
desk when the
human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier
puyykmm4hbdm9lo9jmdskdm USING IT.
Got this from my sister, she knows I am a cat person and takes every opportunity to extol the superiority of the dog; however subtly.