I used to think the sound of a squeaky bed was romantic. Two lovers, so passionate that they do not mind the squeak of a bed while making love. They are so into each other that no noise or anything else could distract them from each other.

Now, I live in an apartment under someone with a squeaky bed. It is 3:45am, I am sick and have to be at work in the morning and I hear squeaking. I hear nothing but squeaking.

The noise starts out slow. After 20 seconds or so the noise is starting to get faster. Another minute passes and it gets faster and faster.

squeak, squeak......squeak, squeak
squeak,squeak...squeak, squeak
squeak, squeak.squeak, squeak.squeak, squeak.
squeaksqueak squeaksqueak

This is not the first time this has happened. Oh no. This is after repeated times banging on the ceiling trying to get the noise to cease.

The day after this, I went to the store, bought a can of WD-40 and a note on the doorstep explaining why I had placed it there. From now on, hopefully, I will be able to only be up at 3:45am on a Sunday night if I am in the passionate thrusts of sex.

Now, I think a squeaky bed is less romantic. I also guarantee that if I am ever making love, having sex or even fucking someone and I hear a squeak, I will immediately be turned off by the vague thought of someone around me having to listen to such a repulsive noise.

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