I think Johnson & Johnson
needs to come up with a Soul Bandaidtm
Unique bandage shape seals around broken hearts to provide an environment that speeds healing and prevents prolonged pain due to infection and unrequited love.
Super-thin, breathable material stays stuck on as you move and as your heart does that pesky beating thing once or twice a second.
Waterproof adhesive Won't come off in the shower or with that funny lubricant you're using with the person you're seeing on the rebound.
The Soul Bandaidtm helps heal broken hearts twice as fast as a heart without a Soul Bandaidtm and eases pesky heartaches.
Directions for application:
- Clean wound with copious amounts of alcohol (aka booze) and tears
- Pull apart wrapper.
- Pull bandage away from wrapper by grabbing tab
- Apply to broken heart. Press firmly, until the spurting slows
- Change bandage frequently to avoid prolonged heartache due to infections.
Soul Bandaidstm. Stick 'em where it hurts, and stick it to your ex.
Idea from wounded soul anemotis and the back of a box of 3M Nexcare Waterproof Bandages.