This is a grim fact
causes not only cancer
, but also bilateral infarction
s of the anterior hemoglobin
, and tennis elbow
is hard to come by, foax
, so don't squander yours on gratuitous and aimless smonking
It's a statistical
fact that most smonkers
begin to smonk
between the ages of three and six, and will often continue to smonk
regularly far into their declining years
. The social cost of this sick perversion
is incalculable, so I haven't tried to calculate it, but trust me
: It's a mess.
Every time you sit down to smonk
, your brain shrinks by up to 10%, and then rebounds when the smonking
process is complete. This causes great wear and tear on the skull
, similar to the effect of a New England
winter on the shattered and blasted roads of Massachusetts
. The up side
is that when you start to smonk
, you can stick a pencil
in your ear (eraser
first, for God's sake
), and then when you're done and your brain expands, the pencil
will be shot forth with the velocity of a rifle bullet
. This is a very cool trick at parties.
This is a typo I found in a delightful pro-smoking
node by Tarquinious
, Why Does Smoking Suck?
. His conclusion is, roughly, that smoking doesn't
suck -- it rules!
finished his writeup
first, dammit! That's what I get for softlinking
before I start to write . . .