This shall hopefully serve as the
unabashed counterpart for
males to
Lady Day's most complete
coverage of the
uncoverage of the
female anatomy. May god (and anyone from
real life who reads my writeups) have
mercy on my
soul.
If you've never done it before, above all things, be prepared to be highly
uncomfortable in the days after
shaving. The only immediate solution to
stubble is to shave the stubble, and that surely results in "one of those
vicious cycle thingies," as I think it was said in
Clueless.
For the most part, the process of shaving the male
genitals is rather similar to the shaving of the female genitals, with one rather large,
wrinkly complication. You can avoid it altogether, if you'd like, and it will save you much
itching in the days to come. However, that might look pretty silly, so I would at least consider undertaking the shaving of your
scrotum if you are at all worried about your genital aesthetic (as, sadly, you must be if you are still reading).
1.
Trim. Everywhere you intend to shave. It's much easier this way. I didn't think of this the first time. Don't ask.
2.
Lather liberally. Don't go easy on the shaving cream, especially the first time.
3. Start working on whatever region you'd like. I would recommend shaving with the
grain on the regions above the
groin (the
bushy bit, that is). Otherwise, you will get some
irritation, and possibly some
acne. You've probably seen what I'm talking about in
amateur porn. The area
below and
behind is much easier to shave towards you than away, and the
skin there seems to allow for shaving in any given direction, so long as you use a fresh
razor. You may have to change razors once or twice, for your first shave.
4. When trimming the
burlap of
Santa's sack, be sure to stretch it out, so as to provide a flat surface. (Here's the part where you hold up your hand and say "
OMG???
TMI!!!")
5. If you want to uh, shave
uncharted territory... be very careful. That's all I can say, really. Use a
mirror or something, and try not to drive down the middle of the road,
so to speak. You don't want to have to explain this sort of thing to the folks in the
emergency room.
Feel free to
style as you wish, accompanied by a trimmer perhaps. I am rather fond of the
pubic pompadour. The regular
perms will cut into your budget after a while, but it's well worth the trouble.