Woke up early after a restless night of sleep, but the good news there is that I was able to avoid taking melatonin. I take a lot of different things, they add up, and I would like to reduce my dependence on things like supplements and sleep aids. I drove out to the house this morning and received unpleasant news. In order to avoid having my license suspended the DMV needed to have forms signed by me and the attorney who is handling the accident case for the other drive in by September 14, 2016. I mailed them on the 7th, and the attorney held onto them until the 22nd. While I can't prove that this was purposely done, I'm furious with the entire situation, but behind that anger is fear of the bodily injury settlement case that I know is coming.
Yesterday I got a lot of writing and not much else done. It turns out that I still need to become more disciplined to get out and go walking or get some other form of movement and exercise in when I'm home alone. It's not as bad as it was in the past due to me having a more physical job, but I'm still frustrated and disappointed with myself. I have a stack of bills and not enough money to cover them, however I did send in a large chunk of money which reduced one bill I have to $800. While that's still a lot of money, outside of the stupid car accident, it's the only debt I have and managable if I am careful.
I need to buy vitamins and some other things. We're having a sale at work so it makes sense to buy and save now, but I'm wondering if I should hold off until I am actually out of the things I need. Every time I try going without my B complex I'm reminded of why I take it. I've read that insufficient B vitamins can cause a host of problems, my anxiety and paranoia seem to worsen when I don't take them, they seem to help on many levels when I do take them, I have more energy, I can think more clearly, life in general seems to go better for me when I take the B complex I've been using. I've shopped around, compared prices, but this is the one that seems to work best for me.
When I first got the notice from the attorney I thought about driving into Milwaukee to have it signed, I chose to save myself the trip and that cost me. It's a lesson to be learned for the future, sometimes you have to go out of your way to avoid others screwing you over in unexpected ways. I'm not sure why I keep trusting others when my experiences suggest that others can't be trusted. Regardless of how the day started, I'm glad I'm up early, was able to get this written, and had some time to process this before I go into work. I still have time to go down to the clubhouse and walk on the treadmill or ride the bike for a while. I'm cold and tired, but feeling good about being up early, I'm always my best at this time of the morning, when the world is still waking up and I have time to adjust to the idea of a new day and meeting the challenges and opportunities it presents.
Hoping this finds you well,
J