I channel flipped. Many people turned it off after the first 30 minutes. Reason being, it wasn't really that much fun to watch.

It was a highly anticipated event: finding the other thing I wanted to watch, Monday Night Football was nigh-on impossible. Finally found the New Orleans Saints and Atlanta Falcons game on another channel and flipped between the two.

It was a strangely good mix.

There's a morbid joke about New Orleans, what's the difference between a hurricane and a cow, the difference being New Orleans can't milk a cow for ten years straight. The video package was very heavy on the past: the blocked kick by Steven Gleason, whose ALS has left him sidelined with a respirator, signing autographs with his eyes. The rebuilding of the dome after Hurricane Katrina and what it meant to the city to finally have some hope.

Likewise, both candidates' messages were really about the past. Donald Trump made mentions it being ironic that Hillary Clinton suddenly cares about issues when she's had 30 years in or around office to fix these things. Hillary made mention of how great the 1990s were under the Clintons and the whole notion of Make America Great Again is really a wistful nod back to America's glory days. 

On one channel, the two sides were trading blows back and forward. Given that the New Orleans Saints don't seem to even understand why one would need defense in a football game, never mind being able to field one (they've been worst in the league or close to it for years) and the Falcons' defense is hot garbage as well, it was like watching two 19th century pugilists, complete with waxed moustaches standing face to face, quietly punching each other in the face, one at a time, taking their turn.

On the other, it was Smug Fake Smile Liberal Pantsuit rolling her eyes at Scowling Angry Orangutan Man. Blah blah blah where are the emails blah blah blah he's a racist blah blah blah time to go to the other channel the Atlanta Falcons respond with a touchdown go to the other channel if only rich people like you paid their fair share well people like you would squander it, it's a disaster. Where are your tax returns, where are your medical records go to the other channel Drew Brees intercepted for a pick six, that's the game ladies and gentlemen they can't come back from this...

Did anything particularly interesting happen? Sure, the Special Teams, as the joke is going around Atlanta today, put the "Special" in Special Teams by having two of their players collide with each other trying to catch a punt, resulting in the Falcons getting the fumbled ball and a quick touchdown. Donald Trump asserted that Hillary Clinton has been fighting ISIS "her entire life". Drew Brees threw a pass practically into the hands of the opposition, twice, and Hillary Clinton testified to her "stamina" by suggesting that Trump couldn't possibly be up to standing in front of a Congressional inquiry for twelve hours straight, you know, those inquiries as to possibly felonious behavior.

The video package for the NFL game was really good to the Saints, showing the team rebuilding from Katrina and talking about the 10th anniversary of them shellacking the Falcons and giving them the momentum needed to eventually win the Super Bowl, while treating the Falcons as just accessories to tonight's game. On the other channel, the moderator allowed Hillary supporters to cheer her on, but silenced Trump fans, and asked Trump multiple armor piercing questions while never really bothering Hillary whatsoever. 

Basically, the parallels went on and on, all night.

And regardless of which contest you watched, it was just a case of watching one side's offense run roughshod over the other's defense. But for two errors, the game might have been the Saints'. Time will tell however how people graded the debate, though people mostly thought Hillary won. All she had to do was stand there and be as least unlikeable as possible and watch Trump scowl his way through denigrating America, people of color and so forth in terms of how everything sucks and he's the only one to fix it, and she won't, and she can't.

And of course, on Tuesday morning, nobody was really convinced of any change in events. The Falcons fans crowed about being on the top of the NFC South by having won one more game than Tampa Bay, or North Carolina, even though the rest of their season will see teams that will put their insanely terrible defense through the meat grinder. Likewise, those who showed up in black and gold to cheer on the severely injured and rookie side that put on a pathetic excuse for a football game for New Orleans are not likely to down their Brees jerseys and start cheering on Matt Ryan.

Most people stopped watching either after about 30 minutes, and for me watching one shitshow after another, interleaving layers of shit was the only thing making it remotely useful. We get it. You are either with the progressive felonious woman, or the angry, minority-hating capitalist. And just as the Saints might as well call it a season and let it roll to its conclusion, we really don't need to waste the airtime on yet another debate.

 

 

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