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Dr Phat was working late in his laboratory one night. He hadn't cruised in his pimpmobile for days. His mighty 'fro was beginning to falter. His ho's were getting lonely.

He had no time for ill shit.

He was caught up in his work.

For months now had he toiled for long hours in his secret underground ho' den/laboratory, desperately trying to extract the genes that controlled hair strength and wireyness (collectively: 'Froticity). If he succeeded, then ghettos and 'hoods all over the world would be filled with kids wielding meaty 'fros and stripey T-shirts, just like in the seventies. Gangs would no longer be obsessed with street fights and drive-bys, seeking only to out-'fro their rivals. A new era of peace, prosperity and funk would reign in the inner cities.

Perhaps the greatest advance Dr Phat's work will bring is that 'Froticity could be detected while the little G was still inside the womb, thus averting horrible white-guy-with-afro incidents (caused by people without, or with limited control over, The Power Of Funk attempting to wield the freshest of hairstyles) that have caused the death of so many innocent gangstas in the unenlightened past.

May Jah guide you in your quest, Dr Phat, and may your ho's be reunited with their pimp-daddy as soon as your work is fruitful.

Peace out.

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