I've got a red leather tie and a pair of rugger pants,
I put them on and I went to the high school dance.
Dad said I have to be home by eleven -
aw, man, I'm gonna miss Stairway to Heaven.

-- Grade 9, Barenaked Ladies

A style of male pants (sometimes referred to as "rugger pants") that was briefly popular -- for like about a day -- in the early '80s. Rugby pants were cotton casual pants with an elastic waist, no belt loops, a draw string, side pockets, and an absent fly. If I might, for a moment, heighten the horror, some variations of the rugby pant came in corduroy.

Popular colors were navy, grey, teal, and burgundy. Break dancers tended to favor a brighter red rugby pant with a black torn mesh tank top and white Velcro Adidas runners.

While from all accounts rugby pants were highly comfortable, the lack of a fly gave the front of the pants an oddly puffy, billowy look. It appeared like one was storing a loaf of bread along the waist line.

The lack of a fly also makes one wonder about the mechanics of male micturition. Did boys simply yank down the front of their ruggers, letting the tackle all hang out while peeing at a urinal, or did rugby pants turn men briefly into women, forcing them to use the bathroom stall out of a sense of modesty? Well, some questions are better left unanswered, cause, frankly, I don't want the answer to this one.

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