I am sitting at work, innocently waiting for something to happen at my job. Actually, something did happen today (finally); Iris called today, asking for my boss...again. The subtitles on the TVs weren't working...again. And that's all that happened, until my boss proudly presents me his iPhone, bubbling over with an article from Gizmodo.
I read the title outloud, "Teenager's 60-Foot Roof Wang", and I think to myself, "Wait, that doesn't make grammatical sense", and read it a few more times out loud. My boss reaches and scrolls down the article so I can read it, "18-year old Rory McInnes decided to create a 60-foot phallic masterpiece on the roof of his parents' stately English manor". I think I just died.
In high school there's the locker wang, wall wang, bathroom stall wang, and maybe even the football field wang. English manor wang, however, is quite...ok it's still supremely retarded. The fact stands that it was painted on the roof of an English manor home, his parents' house, which is large and probably ridiculously expensive. The stupidity, lack of conscience, and lack of respect required to do this is award-worthy! Could this be considered an abuse of Google Maps?
The roof wang stood for almost a year, until a Sun newspaper helicopter spotted it. The newspaper then contacted the owner of the house (presumably Rory McInnes father), who thought the call was a joke. I don't blame him. If someone told me I had a large penis painted on my roof over the phone, I would tell them to jump out of a plane without a parachute or start cleaning, because now they're my first suspect.
The icing on the cake was this sentence, "Oh yes, Mr. McInnes, there is definitely a 60-foot wang on top of your house". I think I just died again. Rory was handed a scrubbing brush and spirits so he can scrub it off the roof. So the whipped cream and cherry on top of this scrumptious, yet somewhat undercooked cake was, "According to Google, the house remains penis-free".
Here's the full monty and a picture to boot!
Wntrmute was amused that the original BBC coverage of this story managed to avoid any mention of what young Rory had actually drawn, describing it only as a "comedy picture". They do now describe it as a "60-foot penis", having moved the story into the presumably less highbrow Radio 1 newsbeat section.