Rejazz

I don’t know exactly what a mantra is. I can make educated guesses, but I don’t know for certain its real meaning, origin, or spiritual significance. I can look it up, but before that I need to explain how the concept lives in my head.

The concept of a mantra that’s somehow arrived at my head is: some-thing that is like a phrase that is repeated over and over again as a guiding principle or idea of sorts. Business guys and yoga teachers use the word, but apparently the actual mantras they use are different. Both seem to advise to repeat the mantra to somehow hammer its meaning into your brain so that your actions are guided and imbued by this principle.

Since I haven’t done any serious research to back it up, the above concept can be easily dismissed as an ignorant point of view. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Re-Jazz is a quaint little song by Regina Spektor. It consists of 14 stanzas, repeated several times over jazz-like melodies that are so characteristic of Ms. Spektor’s early period.¹ The only instruments are Regina’s voice and a double bass plucking away, so the listener can focus on the melodic lines and textures with ease. If you don’t care for the lyrics, just trying to follow along with the melody is a nice exercise.

But the lyrics, oh the lyrics.

Thought I’d cry for you forever
But I couldn’t so I didn’t
People’s children die and they don’t even cry forever

I can’t remember many songs that deal with this specific part of heartbreak: the “moment” when one realizes that life continues, when the wounds are healing and when the pain finally recedes. Anyone that has ever gone through a similar process will know that this “moment” is very rarely if ever a single specific time. It’s much more common to find oneself at the other side of the process, sometimes even wondering how one got there.

Rejazz is, then, a mantra. I’ve used it to remind myself that this too shall pass, and that even the worst heartbreak has gone and I’m still here.

Rejazz is a mantra to remind myself that the storm always looks worse while I’m inside it.

Rejazz is a mantra to remind myself that I’ve gone through this before, if not worse.

Rejazz is a mantra to remind myself that I cannot hurry the healing process, but that it will happen anyway.

Rejazz is a mantra to remind myself that despite the beatings I can still get up and connect to another person, maybe even to the point of love.

Rejazz is a mantra to remind myself that I should not fear the ending of a relationship, for it won’t be the end of me.

Rejazz is a mantra, and I hesitate to put all the lyrics here in case it’s not copyright-compliant. But you should go and listen to it. And then listen again.

1. Indeed, the album 11:11 was her debut, according to Wikipedia.