Propagate the insidious, vile meme that quality is more important than speed, convenience, or price.

This scheme, of course, is least likely to succeed, since many, many people care only about speed and convenience and would settle gladly for a pulped-food intravenous injection.

Scientists are working frantically to discover a means to sidestep one of the Universe's best-known laws, and create something that is cheaper, faster, AND better.

We wish them luck, and can only hope that they succeed before the mad scientists have installed an IV feeder in every household, office cubicle, automobile, and, of course, Burger King.

Come to think of it, the pulped-food IV itself would put the Fast Food Chains out of business, since it's more convenient to hook yourself up in the car than to sit still for half an hour waiting for your EnChalupa Supreme to siphon into your veins. The fast-food chains would be relegated to selling IV refill packets and spare needles at the drive through.

It's only a matter of time before someone sues McDonald's because their needle was "too sharp".

At this point, I'm beginning to suspect that fast food chains aren't quite as bad as they could be. I think I'll go get some KFC, while the place still exists...

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