I love to order pizza over the internet. Even in my backwater city you can order a pizza online from Pizza Hut. I like supreme pizza. I like Starbucks coffee. I like McDonald's french fries. What can I say? I like knowing that there are some things that come out right every time. I get enough excitement most days, I don't need to wonder if my coffee will suck or my pizza will be all funky because the aliens who talk to the emo-indie-pizza-making-boy through his couture antennae told him to put more oregano on it, and maybe to smoke a little while he was at it.

But that's not my point. In The Net, Sandra Bullock is always yak-yak-yakety-yakking to herself. Reading her screen out loud. Talking to herself. "Pepperoni," she says, and clicks on the pepperoni. And so on. It's a movie. She has to talk or there would be one less job for a writer. She's not Theda Bara and she's not Marcel Marceau. yakety-yakety-yak.

What I like about ordering pizza online is that it is very quiet, and very still. There are days when I don't say a word to anyone, and I like it that way. On those quiet evenings, I open a bottle of wine and spend some time writing. Eventually I order a pizza (wordlessly). Click-click-click. And then the pizza boy (or girl) comes and I smile and take the pizza and sign the slip and tip well, and close the door (wordlessly), and drink another glass of wine and eat the pizza and eventually I go to sleep. It's very peaceful.

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