Merv is a top Aussie. He is like David Boon but he's bigger and his moustache is bigger and he was a fast bowler. However, he still could crack a massive six whenever he wanted to. Sometimes during cricket games when Australia was destroying some shithouse team, Merv would get so excited that he would stick his tongue in other players ears. His main bowling weapon was his massive moustache, which he used to hypnotise batsmen while running in to bowl. When he was warming up in the outfield the crowd thought he was playing "Simon Says" and copied his actions. Big Merv is a top Aussie.

The contents of this writeup written by Grant(Nosedog) and can be found in its original form at Permission gained from Grant on 20 November, 2000 to reproduce the text on everything2. Many thanks

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