Lark's Vomit

Or, scary-looking scrambled eggs.

Cost: Very little.
Prep time: about 10 minutes

This recipe is singularly ugly-looking (hence the name). However, it's really easy, it's reasonably nutritious, and it tastes fairly decent as well.



  1. Put the eggs in a medium-sized mixing bowl. No, silly, take them out and break them first, and put their contents in the mixing bowl.
  2. Beat the eggs. Heheheh.
  3. Add the milk and mix thoroughly. Beat some more if you're really sadistic.
  4. Add a liberal pinch of thyme. This is what gives the end product of this recipe its peculiar greyish tinge. Do the same with basil and oregano. Now put the bowl aside.
  5. Slice up the zucchini, squash, onion and ham. Put them in a frying pan and fry them until they're fried, or almost.
  6. Pour the egg-milk-spice mixture into the frying pan. Use a metal spatula to stir, and do so constantly, until the resultant substance looks almost but not exactly like a very good substitute for scrambled eggs.
  7. Now dump this on top of a piece of toast, buttered if you insist. It's also interesting to try salsa with it as well. Peach salsa is great stuff with eggs, oddly enough.
  8. Serve hot.

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