Preface (because it deserves one):

This was an e-mail from an ex-girlfriend, who yes, I loved (and still love). The problem was I knew I couldn’t love her as much as she loved me. She deserved to be with someone who could love her more (or is it only differently?) than I loved her. I don’t think she will mind if I share.


I figured you'd probably check at least... 20 more times before you leave on Saturday. It's Thursday night. I've decided to finish my postponed e-mails that I've kept putting off for a couple of weeks. Since e-mail's going to be cut off as of Friday, I guess, I might as well do it, right? Anyway, YOU'RE busy in your room entertaining your guests. I'm basically done with my packing, My roommate's busy packing, so I'm just in the way if I'm in my room. So, I'm stuck here e-mailing... you.

Yes, you SHOULD feel privileged, considering I'm typing painstakingly away on this crappy keyboard -- it's so hard to push down the keys... Anyway. I'm so sad. You don't know how sad it is... Just sitting here typing this out makes my eyes water.

So, you're going to visit me this summer, right???? IF you're going to visit, I have my address...{editted out} It's a big, white-looking house with pillars and a red door. Well, I really don't know what else to say... I can't think anymore. You know that wordfind that I worked on for the floor? I finally got it from the floor vice-president tonight. So I put them under people's doors. I find it sad that some people will not get one, as trivial as it may seem to you, or to others.

I don't want to go home. All my parents are going to do is try to convince me to stay at home this summer. But this time, I'm putting my foot down. I feel like I really need to get away and to find out what I really want to do with my life, and also to find myself. To tell you the truth, I'm really scared, to do the unknown. It's always been a problem for me.

I'm tired. Maybe I'll just go to bed early and then wake up early. You know, I can't wait 'till I'm 21 so I can drink legally. Kill all those brain cells that I don't need. It's so sad. You know how sad I am? I'm so sad that I even miss that guy, as annoying as he is. But you know who I'll miss most...


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