I would like to preface this by saying I am currently lucky enough to have a reasonably stable job. However, the company I work for (400 people) was recently sold by the owners to a VERY large company (100,000 people). Needless to say, some of us are a little antsy about the future and have begun to explore our options. I like my job and have no plans to leave, however if push comes to shove (read: layoffs) I'd like to have options. So I contacted a recruiter to see what these options were.

I was very up front in that I was not necessarily planning to leave, just evaluating my options. They described a job that sounded kind of interesting. It was out of state so my fiance and I figured there was no harm in going for a three-day paid-for weekend interview/vacation.

From the outset this recruiter talked to me on the phone as if I was some sort of insubordinate child, telling me what I should and shouldn't say to the employer, and that I needed to needed to behave a certain way on-site. As I am a professional in my field this was very insulting. The city and the interview ended up being lackluster; the employees and the job seemed less than enticing. One of the guys told me his standard of living took a big hit when he took that job. Not good.

Once back home the recruiter called me every other day to ask what I thought about it and if I had made up my mind before I was even made an offer. When they did make an offer a couple of weeks later, it was not even close to what I would need to maintain my standard of living. Almost immediately, my fiance and I had two people in the family die. A week apart. I had 10 days to respond to the offer letter. I spent my time going to funerals instead.

The employer did call to say they needed to know "real soon now" whether I would take the job. But we were busy. I responded once we were back in town to let them know the job wasn't in my best interest and to thank the manager for arranging the interview.

The recruiter sent the following e-mail. Names have been changed to protect the insensitive:

Hi evilkalla.  I am told that XXX made you an offer, and that since they
have not heard from you, XXX from HR tried to reach you a couple of days ago,
to get your response.  She tells me that XXX said you were asleep, and when
she tried to get your response, you were unclear.  She told XXX that you will
return her call when you wake up.  Apparently either you forgot, or XXX
forgot, because XXX did not hear from you.  

evilkalla, whatever your response may be, leaving XXX (or any employer 
whose managers took time to interview you, and, based on that interview, make 
you a job offer) without an answer is not a good idea.  You never know where or 
when you may meet the people who were involved in the various stages of your 
inteview and the job offer which ensued, and it is best to leave them with  
proper decorum.   So, in order to do the right thing, I suggest that you 
respond to XXX, either way.  You have the right to accept or decline an offer, 
but you must also close the loop properly.  This is my advice to you, based on 
previous experiences.

Director, Search Group

I swear, some people really do think the world revolves around them. Somtimes, this "decorum shit" needs to go by the wayside while you pull out the big stick.

I was finally able to respond to XXX late last week. XXX and I have had two 
deaths in the family in the past two weeks. Certainly you might agree that you 
do not plan for people to die; to that end, I really don't appreciate your tone 
of voice. You speak to me as if I am some sort of unprofessional subordinate. 
Perhaps you are so eager to obtain your recruitment check that you forget 
that I do not work for you; I do not answer to you and I am not accountable to 
you. Furthermore, it is unprofessional and insulting of you to threaten me
with vague "professional repercussions" for attending to matters that are 
none of your business. I do not believe we will be talking again. 


Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.