One of my friends who studies genetic engineering at university and told me how her class removed the gene that causes glowing from a glow worm and spliced it into some plant DNA, causing the resulting plant to glow in the dark.

This is a nice idea, I guess. It could be useful for making indoor plant / night light hybrids, but are genetic engineers so busy making monkeys with multiple asses that they overlook the most obvious and greatest possible use for this technology?

I am talking about grass. The word "grass" can mean both the green stuff that makes up lawn or another name for marijuana. I propose that we converge these two meanings forever, through the wonders of modern science.

If I was a genetic engineer, I would take the gene that is responsible for the high THC content of the cannabis plant and splice it into common, ordinary household grass. Then I would buy up lots of cheap land and start a turf farm. Wouldn't this dope-lawn reek of skunk? NO. THC oil is odourless, the lawn would be indistinguishable from ordinary lawn, that is, until you started smoking it. This brings a new meaning to the term lawn bowls.

After a few months, I will have acres and acres of verdant knee high foliage, and it will be time for the harvest. I will bring in a lawn-mower with a catcher and do some mowing.

Once I had made all the money I could possibly hope to spend from my little grass farm, I would release the seeds into the wild. The effects would be like releasing ice-nine in Cat's Cradle. From that day forth the world would be a different place, any lawn anywhere could be a skunk-lawn and NOBODY would know.

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