"I must be too dumb to be proud, 'cause I waited.." - OLP

This is what I think of when I remember how I felt when he decided that I simply wasn't what he wanted or needed anymore. How I felt when he neglected to tell me any of this, but instead acted like a cruel, mere shell of a human being. I waited for him, and I believed that he was waiting for me, since he you know, told me that.. but I know now it was all a lie. He tells me, over and over, that he has no reason to lie to me. In a way, it's the truth, he probably hasn't lied to me, he just never bothered to tell me anything. It's all a tangled web of hidden bullshit. That's alright, I mean, really, three years of my life, I don't deserve anything for always being there, never giving up, etc..

The funniest thing in my Universe is the fact that I am his friend, but he is not mine, not anymore. I am there for him, always, I can't help but be it hurts too much to abandon him, but he has abandoned me. I can't call him and ask that he just simply talk to me when I am down, or happy, because he is far too caught up in his own world, life, lies.

Where do you drop off a broken heart for repairs, so that you can go on, live some sort of life? I don't mind if it isn't perfect, but a little mending would be nice. Sometimes I think it may even be healing on its own, but its only a matter of time before it's ripped wide open, exposed, by something as simple as a song.

I mean, god damn, I didn't think there would be such fine print and infinite amounts of anguish attached to this thing called love.

I don't miss a lot of things that go along with having a relationship, I just miss the closeness.. would anyone like to join me for a hug and a warm cup of compassion?

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