I was just walking through the neighborhood. I have already been to the grocery store, where I have purchased some celery, cottage cheese and almond butter to make myself a high-fiber, high-protein meal when I get home. That, and a nice cup of tea, and I will spend the evening perusing some fine literature. Tomorrow I will get up and engage in some vigorous exercise. But I was just figuring, well, maybe a little bit of a treat wouldn't hurt me. A pair of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups would be a good dessert after my dinner. They are actually somewhat nutritious.
Well, this liquor store is right here. Might as well go in.
Oh, and look. Gingerale! That goes well with cranberry juice. Not too expensive. Gingerale and Reese's Peanut Buttercups. Anything else I need? No, might as well pay, except for---
Champagne! In these little bottles. Well, not real champagne, I think the term is sparkling wine. Two dollars for 137 ml, that certainly wasn't imported from France. But still, that is cute. Might go well with my meal. Wine is good for the heart.
Wow, do people pay that much for this stuff? 50, 80, even 100 dollars? Just for bourbon? I don't even know what bourbon is. Besides it is French? Or maybe from Kentucky? I can't even remember what all of these are made from. Tequila is expensive and tastes bad. And almost killed my sister. I can't look at tequila without thinking about that. My sister can't smell it let alone taste it without vomiting. A lot of money for this stuff.
Am I taking too long? Am I acting unnatural? Just looking around. I am an adult. Oooh, Irish Creme. Well, I don't really know what whiskey is made of, but Irish Creme, that is pretty simply themed. It is chocolaty. Pretty simple idea. But not today.
"What is in this skull bottle?"
"It is just a shot of vodka"
"Well, that is cute, but 9 dollars?"
"You get to keep the skull bottle"
"Well, that is nice? But nine dollars? I guess it could make a nice gift..., but not today."
Hmmm, this little bottle of champagne isn't much. Kind of a waste to spend alcohol that I won't even feel. For one dollar and fifty cents, I can get a shot of vodka, an airport bottle, and drop that in with the champagne. Voila! Super-champagne! Okay, while I am here...oh, I am kneeling down. How long can I look before it looks weird? But really, an airport bottle isn't very cost effective. I could get a 200 ml bottle. Or wait, 375 ml. Hmm? Do I want to? I am doing the math of proof and cost...oh, Everclear. Well, that is certainly cost effective. Besides...well, the bottle looks small, but when you think of what is in it...no, I will stay with vodka. I will get this for reserve, an airport bottle, and the champagne. They never card me here. But I do have to sign. Is there money on my debit card? I hope so. If there wasn't, would it be more embarrassing to put everything back, or pay for the airport bottle and the candy with quarters? Oh, okay, I am overthinking here, especially since it just got approved, and for under ten dollars. Oh, well, on my way.
I always feel a little weird when I go in there.