I just uttered this very line of conversation on the phone with a insurance solicitor. She had said Citibank would pay my premiums -- they even cover dismemberment -- for the first three months.

"Thanks," I said, "but ..."

"I don't plan to be dismembered in the next three months"

I apologized, thanked her again, and hung up.

I haven't had too many better triumphs over the telemarketers. For some reason, "I have CoreComm" is the universal trump card for phone services (both local and long distance) and "I'm happy with my Discover card" works for the credit cards.

If the phone services people are really persistent, I try to sell them on Fiveline, aka 10-10-811, with its five cents a minute/fifty cent minimum with no monthly fees. So far only one has admitted that not only was it a better deal, that's what he used also.

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