Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I've never managed to work out whether this is George or Algernon Gissing he means, but we can probably assume that it's not Alfred Gissing, who was 12 when this was written"

• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• A poem for two pages of panel art for a comic that was never written
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• The Tale of a Youth who set out to learn what Fear was
• I was the man who never lied. I never lied until today.
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• A Woman Who Never Was
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• I've been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• some say he was never here at all
• Who shouted with glee when the colour blue was born?
• Tribute to the Man Who Never Was (document)
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• When we was fat ( ... or, Lord Gym)
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• An infallible way to discern whether a decade, in pop culture terms, was win or fail
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• I worked at the mall in the 80s. There was a cult that used to recruit out on the front steps.
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• It doesn't matter whether Hitler was an Atheist or a Christian
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• I married him because he was not mean
• Every poem about thunder was written under the protection of a roof, or, at the very least, an empty sky
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
• /but what was the question?
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• we can give up, but the world never will
• I've never seen a glacier up close, but I've touched your hand. It felt so cold.
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• Most of these things I've never seen in real life. Only on screens. Or Elsewhere. I'd die without it.
• I never even went to Las Vegas, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• When you're born with duckweed in your hair, it never washes out
• I was never broken
• I'll be happier when the rain stops. But I know I'd be miserable if it never rained again.
• when you're done, you can let her die if that's what you want. Or you can wake her.
• I Wish My Brother George Was Here
• can it be that it was all so simple then
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• But life is hard when the written word is your first language
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• we went to the stars, but all we found was ourselves
• making certain he was touching her
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• The real reason pi was never calculated to a high precision in ancient times
• Nostalgic for a time that I never experienced and for a person I never was
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• The Epidemic That Never Was
• you never once told her how beautiful she was nor how much you truly loved her
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• It was a dream. But it wasn't a dream.
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• She is a night of dark trees, but he who is not afraid of her darkness will find banks full of roses under her cypresses
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• Adapting literary works for film and television
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• You can never be too rich or too thin
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• I can prove that Jesus was both human and divine
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• All he left her was alone
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• he was a punk poet himself
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• Right-wing doesn't automatically mean racist
• I had never known someone whose death was imminent
• There was silence in my heart, but you found a way to break it.
• I was never any good at maths at school
• You say "the internet" but you mean "the world wide web"
• There never was a body that gave the undertaker a tip
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• I was Dan for fifteen minutes and I never want to be Dan again
• I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
• the little friendship that never was
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• Despite her station, the quarry was never alone
• When's the last time you cared about Lenny Kravitz? A) 1991 B) never C) Who?
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• The Box Said 'Do NOT Open" But The Seal Was Already Broken
• I will tell you the phrase, but you must never speak it out loud. If you do, you will surely die.
• Noding for Numbers sure was silly, but it sure is better than Dada Fascism
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• i thought i was special, but it was you
• More than he was willing to give
• A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little
• i've never wanted to die, only things i can never have
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• God has power, whether or not one believes in Her/Him
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• Who needs love when you can have death?
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• He Was a Crook
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• strange and too short but I was lonely
• That's Just How He Was
• He was found
• Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• The flowers smiled, but she was gone
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• Letters I've written, never meaning to send
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• As I Was Going to St Ives
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.

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