I have a habit, sometimes, when I recognize that a poem matches the particular meter of a song I know, I'll end up singing it in my head to it.

For example, a lot of the poetry in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings can be sung to Greensleeves (aka "What Child is This"). Tennyson's In Memoriam gets sung to the tune of "O Come O Come Emmanuel". Now, these are pretty reasonable songs, but...

I was at the node The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, and in Queequeg's writeup he mentions it can be sung to the theme song of "Gilligan's Island". And now... the viral meme won't go away!

My poetry experience was ruined forever!

I'm not quite familiar with the underlying subcategory of this node - how to ruin poetry by reading it.. sorry Muke. I am, however, quite familiar with the subcategory how to ruin poetry by writing it poorly in the first place.

In my opinion, any of these ways works.

  • Make depressed poetry rhyme - Rhyming gives a lighthearted feel to the poetry, ruining anything with a dark undertone
  • Make it trite - Try not to say something someone else has said before you.. or at least, not in the exact same way. Try to come up with your own magical phrases that ellicit emotions from the reader.
  • Use Iambic Pentameter - Shakespeare was the master of this. You are not Shakespeare, so pick your own rhythm.
  • Make it fluffy - This works for me at least. All my happy, shiny poetry is absolute CRAP.
  • This is all I have on the top of my head, besides my hair. Will add more as it pops up.

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