Title: Awkward Names Anonymous
By: Apollyon, Huddersfield
Scene: Group Therapy.
Isobel – [laughs uncontrollably at a man who is being comforted] Rotsssssh! I. Am. SO. Sorry … [shouts] CROTCH! [laughs again, covers mouth]
Sarah – [angry] Awkward Names Anonymous is for people with awkward names not for people who find them hilarious! Mike Rotch did not come here to be laughed at.
Roger – Sarah please sit down. Isobel deserves to speak. Isobel. Isobel if you can compose yourself.
Isobel – Hello; my name is Isobel.
[All: Hello Isobel]
Isobel – My new boss is called Ian [tiny snigger] Ian Freely… and I’m about to lose my job.
Sarah – Oh let me guess is it "I. P. Freely" is that what’s so funny?
Isobel – Stop it! [grabs belly, laughs uncontrollably. Falls to floor]
Sarah – This guy here is Ivor B. Gun. [Does hip thrusting actions. Isobel is in hysterics] Every introduction is a chat up line. He signs checks advertising the fact that he has a big penis when ironically the opposite is true.
Ivor [protesting in welsh accent] What d’ou say?
Sarah - Sorry Ivor [apologetically changing tac] OK. What’s your name?
Isobel- But my. [breath] Nay-name. Not funny.
Sarah - Isobel. Last name?
Isobel – Ringing
Sarah – Isobel ringing. Is a Bell ringing?
Isobel – I don’t get it.