Little known in the states, Golf Cart Jousting
has until now been an underground pastime
played only by experienced drunken golf caddies
As a preliminary to this node, please understand that this game can and will be dangerous regardless of common circumstances such as inclement weather
, time of day, or
regional terrain. Please be advised that you should always have a licensed professional
jousting instructor present when attempting a healthy joust.
in pairs of (2) per joust.
Golf Flags in pairs of (2) per joust
(You know, those little flags they use to mark the hole from afar).
with nice stretch of short hair grass.
Emergency medical kit
As many people that can fit in a cart at a time will play as teammates
with the understanding that only one can hold the flag, and one can drive.
Rules are as follows.
Acquire materials. (This can be the most interesting part if you don’t already have your own set of equipment
!) The best thing to do is to visit your nearest golf club during normal operating hours
, and speak to a random acne prone herbamonky golf caddy about cart rentals. It is an understood idea that you will not be actually renting said carts, but simply pinpointing
the area in which the jousting vehicles reside.
While waiting for night to fall, you must solidify your upcoming experience with what we in the industry like to call “party favors
”. Personally, I prefer an acidic hallucinogenic
experience, but just about any psychoactive
substance will suffice.
After your favors have had a chance to absorb properly, on with the show.
Return to the warehouse of wonder that contains your mechanical equestrians
, and pick your poison. I prefer a nice gas-powered
maintenance cart, spectacular torque on those things.
After the cart has been acquired, the rest is a breeze because you now have a proper mode of transportation
for the remainder of your journey. Ride out to the nearest hole, and grab your jousting
staff of fury. It is much more intimidating
to keep the flag end sticking out, when the enemy sees this flapping
in the wind it will strike fear into him and his crew. Set the carts about 60-80 feet apart and commence driving directly at eachother. The secret is not in impaling
those in the other cart, but rather to set them off course
. There is one known sweet spot
, which only works when there are 2 riders
in the cart. The flag
must land in the rear upper corner of the roof of the opposing cart
, if landed correctly, the opposing cart will pop up on 2 wheels if not flip. Other well known tactic
s include the old "stick it under the wheel" trick, the clothesline, and in rare circumstances, the boarding
of another teams jousting
vehicle. Have fun.