Little known in the states,
Golf Cart Jousting has until now been an
underground pastime played only by experienced drunken
golf caddies.
As a preliminary to this node, please understand that this game can and will be dangerous regardless of common circumstances such as
inclement weather, time of day, or
regional terrain. Please be advised that you should always have a
licensed professional jousting instructor present when attempting a healthy joust.
Equipment used:
Golf Carts in pairs of (2) per joust.
Golf Flags in pairs of (2) per joust
(You know, those little flags they use to mark the hole from afar).
Golf Course with nice stretch of short hair grass.
Emergency
medical kit per joust.
Players:
As many people that can fit in a cart at a time will play as
teammates with the understanding that only one can hold the flag, and one can drive.
Rules are as follows.
Acquire materials. (This can be the most interesting part if you don’t already have your own set of
equipment!) The best thing to do is to visit your nearest golf club during normal
operating hours, and speak to a random acne prone herbamonky golf caddy about cart rentals. It is an understood idea that you will not be actually renting said carts, but simply
pinpointing the area in which the jousting vehicles reside.
While waiting for night to fall, you must solidify your upcoming experience with what we in the industry like to call “
party favors”. Personally, I prefer an acidic
hallucinogenic experience, but just about any
psychoactive substance will suffice.
After your favors have had a chance to absorb properly, on with the show.
Return to the warehouse of wonder that contains your mechanical
equestrians, and pick your poison. I prefer a nice
gas-powered maintenance cart, spectacular torque on those things.
After the cart has been acquired, the rest is a breeze because you now have a proper
mode of transportation for the remainder of your journey. Ride out to the nearest hole, and grab your
jousting staff of fury. It is much more
intimidating to keep the flag end sticking out, when the enemy sees this
flapping in the wind it will strike fear into him and his crew. Set the carts about 60-80 feet apart and commence driving directly at eachother. The secret is not in
impaling those in the other cart, but rather to set them off
course. There is one known
sweet spot, which only works when there are
2 riders in the cart. The
flag must land in the rear upper corner of the roof of the
opposing cart, if landed correctly, the opposing cart will pop up on 2 wheels if not flip. Other well known
tactics include the old "stick it under the wheel" trick, the clothesline, and in rare circumstances, the
boarding of another teams
jousting vehicle. Have fun.