George W. Bush
met a node, one day, during the long, gruelling 2000 Election
campaign. Never one to miss a photo opportunity
immediately strode up to the node
, and gripped it firmly by the softlink-spotted hand. A quick show of support for the minorities
, that's what his advisors kept saying... at least he seemed to recall; he was usually too busy daydreaming
about frat parties
and bombing the Middle East
to pay much attention.
"Hello Sir, my name is George W. Bush," said George. The node wheezed and stared at the politician with red-rimmed eyes. Dubya glared at the node, grinning widely, the flashbulbs illuminating his angular dentalwork and making the well-worn membranes in his node glow translucently.
"Hello Mr. Bush," croaked the node, "I was hoping to talk to you today."
"What would you like me to do for you, personally?" said Dub.
"Well, I'm just a humble node ..."
"Let it be known that I value the contribution of every node in this country, no matter how humble," cut in Bush loudly, nodding vapidly to the assembled media.
"...some of my writeups have negative XP." continued the node. Bush suddenly was forced to change gear. Discreetly but rapidly he withdrew his hand.
"Well, I'm sure your writeups will be given the chance to live safely and prosperously under my administration," he began-
"I'm afraid, Mr. Bush, that sooner or later they'll end up on node row." There was a murmur in the crowd.
"Well," laughed Bush, "I hardly think that some WU's from a good family could go far astray. You have nothing to fear from my police sta... err, law enforcement agencies, that's for sure. After all, you can't help being GTKY."
"It's not that," protested the node. "It's rather their ... content that I'm afraid you'll take exception too." The node opened one side of its jacket, revealing George W. Bush's Record as Governor of Texas, Pollution Statistics for Dallas in the 1990's, Famous Cocaine Abusers, and There's such thing as too much freedom.
"Now listen," Bush hissed in the node's ear, "I can vote you up, make sure you get cheap nodevertising and regular linkage, hell, I can even have a word with Judge Bones to get your writeups pardoned, but I can't help you if you persist in speaking against our friends in the private sector."
"I'm not afraid of you Mr. Bush," replied the little node, "for you can take office by our choice or your handywork, but if you try to silence us or oppress us, we will rise up against you. The nodegel will swell like a tide, and spread across America's borders so that the world will hear of your misdeeds. You serve us, Mr. Bush, always remember that. As you line your pockets with the dirty money of those who pull your strings, remember that you had a chance to prove your critics wrong. I hope, for all our sakes, that you take that chance."
But Bush was gone before the node could finish his dire warning. "Ah well," he thought, "could be worse. They could've chosen DMan."