I smell the scent of suburbia
: freshly cut grass and I think of you.
I remember how strange it was to kiss you. How my cheeks flushed a pink when you forced your tongue
between my lips and into my mouth. I remember the grape popsicle
taste of your mouth. You smiled, unabashed
In your room we undressed each other to panties
. I fumbled with your buttons and laughed. You laughed, smiling, as you always did when we were together. You still wore the panties of a grammar school
girl, marked repetitively, Monday. I wore simple white cotton and you said you didn't care; kissing me again. You held my tits
as if they were a crystal glass
, just for a moment, savoring the sight of my modest nipples
And then you devoured
me, in your adolescent way. You were almost dog-like
, hands and knees, tongue protruding
, innocently lapping at my nipples. Rubbing my panties in the wrong place, but I was too embarrassed to tell you. Suddenly, the lapping turned to sucking
and it hurt. You rolled the buds between your teeth
and I wanted to scream, but I was too trapped
. So I pulled your head up to mine and kissed you, but you tasted less like grapes
. I sucked your nipples then, like a newborn
sucks his mother's. You squeaked
and I wonder if it hurt you like it had hurt me.
Your mom came home and we giggled as we dressed hurriedly. I went home then, hands in pockets
, kicking the pebbles with my shiny new boots
. I went home and shaved
my head. I kept a bit of hair and bound it in a red ribbon
You vacationed in California
and I daydreamed
about you. I toyed with the thought of loving you, discarding the interested boys and embracing my inner dyke
. I figured I was halfway there, shaved head and combat boots
You returned to me, tanned and smiling. You took me up to your room and you told me about how fucking hot
it was and how fucking great the clothes are in Cal-i-forn-i-a. You had gotten a new pair of boots and they were knee high. Two weeks away from me and you had gained a dirty mouth
. You rubbed my head and told me I looked fucking awesome.
And then, when your parents had gone to sleep, you climbed under my blanket naked. A whisper escaped
your soft cushions
for lips and floated into my ear on a cloud. You had said, (and it sounded like you had rehearsed this a thousand times) "I want to fuck you
You covered my mouth with yours; you tasted of mouthwash
; but I kissed you back. I wrapped my arms around you. We kissed forever, you and I, under a blanket sky. You toyed with my breasts and I toyed with your tiny tits. You licked and sucked, and it seemed you had gotten better at this.
I felt horny
. I had never felt horny before. I had wanted you many times before; to touch you and kiss your lips, delight in your laughter, but I had never wanted to fuck you
. I wished I had a cock
so I could fuck you with it.
You were licking me sloppily
; licking my tits, my belly, and nuzzling
my crotch. I wanted you, passionately, insanely. You were wonderful, with your sloppy tongue. I was swimming
in a sea of your saliva
, but I didn't care. You pulled off my plain white cotton panties and rubbed two fingers all over my pussy
. We really didn't know what we were doing, best friends
, fucking in the middle of the night.
You dove in then, probably holding your nose and hoping for the best. You licked me slowly and gently and I fell in love
You and I spent the rest of the night playing with each other. But, you never let me lick you. You let me fingerfuck
you, while you told me that all the girls were letting their boyfriends
do it to them. I wished I could be your boyfriend, taking you to movies so I could make out with you in the back row. I wished I could take you to dances and buy you ice cream
. I sucked your nipples to your giggles
and you sucked mine to the sound of my laughter. We dressed and slept next to each other. When we awoke in the morning, we ate Lucky Charms
and laughed our asses off at the table.
All of summer I thought I could never
I never told our friends, but they knew. They knew what kind of girl I was. We went anywhere and the kids our grade picked on us. Lesbians. Lesbians
. Dyke. Dyke. Dyke. Dyke. Butch. Hey Butch
. We were going to stay this way forever, in spite of the world. Silly Cinderella
s giving Prince Charming
the finger. But instead you fucked
a boy or two and you stopped being my best friend.
You wrote me a letter and sent it through the mail and maybe I still have it, lying around
somewhere. Pretty soon, it was me and the boys again, smoking pot
and being an overall nuisance
; and you were with those girls and guys that had called us dykes, painting your lips a crimson
red and denying us. You stuffed letters in my mailbox and I threw them away with tears
in my eyes.
You moved away at the end of the summer and didn't say goodbye