I had a friend named Sarah
in high school. She was two grades behind me, and her father was a teacher at the school. We were never romantic
ally involved, but we always were kidding around, flirting and hugging. We could always make each other smile.
Sarah's folks were ultra-religious. Sarah was also religious, but she had a good head on her shoulders. She was intelligent, and she had a heart of gold. Sarah was infatuated with a boy who shared Sarah's religious convictions. He wanted to go off and be a missionary in Africa. Sarah respected this, and mooned over him daily. She would tell me that he smiled at her, and the time he kissed her hand. Sarah shared everything with me, and I loved having her talk and giggle about the silliest things to me.
Well, the boy ended up going out with some slutty girl and changed his outlook overnight (sex can do that to a male). Sarah was crushed. She stayed home from school for three days.
A mutual friend was throwing a party at her parent's house on Halloween. We were all invited, and the parents were going to be out of town. Sarah accepted the invitation, as did I.
Sarah was clearly distraught when she arrived. She had seen the idiot boy sucking face with his sex doll girlfriend. Sarah did something that surprised me - she took a shot of tequila and chased it with a beer. Sarah was not a drinker, and I doubt she even had table wine before. She coughed and wheezed for a while. That one drink hit her hard, and some of the guys began to circle her thinking she was going to be an easy lay. I grabbed her and took her outside before any of them had the chance.
The alcohol made her lose some of her inhibitions, and she did another thing that surprised me. In the middle of talking with her, she snatched my shirt collar and gave me a passionate french kiss that curled my toes. Sarah was attractive, and she was well endowed. I must admit I had looked at them secretly with envy. Now she was frenching me with her shirt partially unbuttoned. Her clevage was illuminated by the bonfire that was burning behind the house. She slid her hands down inside my jeans until she was holding me. "I'm tired of being a fucking virgin," she said. "I want you to fuck me now." Her speech was slurred, but she knew what she wanted.
I don't know what made me do what I did. Perhaps I really had a love for Sarah, perhaps I realized that she was upset and drunk, maybe it was her slurred cursing, which I had never heard coming from her mouth before. I certainly was ready for sex, and I certainly wanted her in the worst way.
I said no.
She looked surprised. She held my penis in my jeans, she knew I wanted to. She slid her hands out of my pants and started crying. I held her, we walked down the road a ways so the other folks would not disturb us. We didn't talk about it until the next weekend.
She asked me why I had not slept with her. She had been thinking all week that I thought she was ugly or I hated her. I told her that wasn't it at all. I knew she was hurting from the idiot who was flaunting his slut in front of her. I knew she had been drinking. I told her for a while I didn't know why I didn't make love to her on Halloween. I did finally figure it out. She was so close a friend, and I loved her very much, I could not take advantage of her. I knew her religious convictions would be in tatters if she had lost her virginity that night. I really wanted to make love to her, but it turned out I would rather be in her heart forever than inside her for one night.
I must admit, I do fantasize about her every so often. It was worth her friendship to say no. It was a hard thing to do, but in the end I was thankful I made the right choice. She married a minister, and she was a virgin when they wed. She has four kids now, and we still talk like the old friends that we still are.