This node is my contribution toward a better quality of life for Coke-Drinking Noders at Hopkins.

As any hardcore coke-drinker can tell you, there is nothing more irritating than finding yourself stuck for an extended period of time in a Pepsi-exclusive school. Hopkins is one such. Sure, they have both Pepsi and Coke in Terrace, but c’mon, who actually makes it to cafeteria meals?? I’m talking vending machines. I'm talking instant-gratification-laundry-money-sucking-luminescent-altars-of-caffeinated-beverages. Specifically, I'm talking about the lack of prominent Coke machines on campus – all the school soda machines are Pepsi. It’s enough to make any self-respecting Coke disciple cry fizzy amber tears of bitter regret.

But all is not lost. Thanks to the ever-entrepreneuring graduate departments, Coke-drinkers can be saved… if they know the secret locations of the machines maintained independently of the university, by departments looking to squeeze anti-Pepsi folks for a little cash. Fine with me, as long as I get my fix. Here’s where you can get yours….

  • DOGEE Department - In the basement of Ames - Right by the loading dock door across from Levering Hall. Twelve ounce cans available for sixty cents. (That’s five cents cheaper than Pepsi, folks!)
  • Biophysics Department - In Jenkins. Go in the right hand door to Jenkins/ the back of Mergenthaler. Go past the meeting room and turn left to get to the vending machines. Voila. If you want to get there from Quad Level, go downstairs to the level where the Orgo lab is, but turn right and follow the hallway around, into Jenkins, and past the Biophysics Department. Turn right. Again, 12 oz for $.60
  • Chemistry Department - In Remsen. Enter from either side and go down one floor, there’s a 20 oz bottle dispensing machine under room 101. But they cost a dollar.
  • Biology Department - Basement of Mudd Hall, in a dark corner down the hall from the supply office. Start at the bottom of the stairs, facing the billboard. Turn right and walk towards the supply office, but pass by it. Go past the elevator. Continue down that hallway. You will notice the hallway is no longer lighted. You might hear some scratchy, screechy noises, but don’t stop walking. No matter what, just look straight ahead and keep walking, stopping for nothing, not even if you suddenly hear the voice of a loved one crying out for help. Under a disused stairway, you will see the holy red glow as you approach. This one offers Coke for the bargain price of fifty-five cents a can! Must be their way of making up for this machine being so bloody hard to find.

That’s all folks! Happy hunting.

This just in: I suspected that the Electrical and Computer Engineering Department must have an in-department source for all things stimulanty, and, well, I'm right. It's just a better-kept secret than some things. Anyway, check in the basement of Barton - ironically right next to the Pepsi machine in the graduate student lounge. Go in through the north door (adj Latrobe), 2nd door on right, stairs one floor down, look for the lounge.

Update from Mutewit, 1/2010: "The cheapest place to find Coke now at Hopkins has to be the ACM office in NEB(New Engineering Building) where they sell 12-oz cans for 50c."

Thanks to Jurph and czeano for the lowdown on the one in Barton.

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