This is what I hate about sleep meds. I slept for a long time, but don't really feel as if I slept at all. I'm sluggish, groggy, and stiff. I shut off my six o'clock alarm and slept for a little more, but it still doesn't feel like it was anywhere close to what I needed. I know that yoga or tai chi would help, and for some reason it's easy to make excuses and not do them. After digging my old anatomy book out I looked into basal cell carcinoma for my upcoming project. I'll have to go somewhere to print out the things I need for my poster. It feels like grade school type stuff, but I'll get through it as best I can. I think what I'm more annoyed with than the actual work of the project is the fact that we have to give up our lunch hour to sit and listen to these things. They're ordering pizza for us which I can't have so I'll be trapped in a room scented by greasy cardboard boxes and oozing pizza slices. Everyone else is looking forward to it so it makes me feel kind of bitchy. Yesterday it was National Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day so our instructor who was celebrating her birthday brought in Klondike bars. The weight lifting woman brags about how healthy she is, but so far I haven't seen her making a lot of very healthy choices, but maybe her definition of healthy foods is different than mine.

I started some laundry and folded the load that was in the dryer. After ironing the things that were on the board I set those aside and came upstairs. The other night I had pulled out the bag with my knitting and promptly walked away without ever taking it out of the bag. Today I did a couple of rows. It's pretty amazing how much calmer that made me feel. Keeping track of my spending has reduced my anxiety, but increased my nervousness. Those two may sound related, perhaps they are, but they're different feelings inside of me. Anxiety is a pointless and mindless scare, nervousness makes me take a look around at the money I have versus what will be going out and how much I can start setting aside for savings. Anxiety often leads to paralysis where worry can lead to strategies like buying store brand raisins instead of the organic brand I used to buy. It hurts short term, but makes me feel better in the grand scheme of things. A container of raisins won't make or break most, but the important thing for me is to get myself in the thrift and frugality mindset. Friday afternoon I moved my dresser into the room of my oldest. Just getting that thing out of my room was a huge relief for me. Now I have my bed, an ironing board, a chair, some baskets, and a plant. I'd like some cool art, but that will have to wait. 

Got a lot to do so I'm going to run.

Take care,


P.S. One of the hardest things I face everyday is taking those stupid meds. But I'm still horrified about what the past was like and more optimistic about the future and how I've been feeling, so I keep taking them. If anyone has any ideas on how to come to terms with this, I'd be grateful for that. 

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