English As A Second F*cking Language
: By Professor Sterling Johnson. Published by St. Martin's Press, NY. © 1995.
ESFL is a short instructual book written by an English Professor (and a distinguished panel of experts) on the concepts of Effective Swearing techniques. For non-native speakers who would like to quickly and effectively blend into American Society, ESFL offers a great way of learning the basic skills of swearing. Not only that, but it also provides native speakers some new twists on classic swearing techniques. ESFL also includes examples from famous poets, writers, playwrites, and works of high literary status. Sample situations and conversations are also provided, e.g.
Nadine: Arnold, if we don't pay this phone bill by noon today, they'll shut off our service.
Arnold: Fuck it. There's no one I want to talk to, anyway.
Officer: I'm sorry I had to ticket you, but the radar clocked you at five miles over the limit. Have a nice day!
Mort: Fuck You!
Billy: Mr. Rogers, give me three of those red jelly beans and four of those green mother-fuckers, please.
Rogers: My, Billy, you're a polite little mother-fucker.
Billy: That's 'cause Mom is strict as a mother-fucker about politeness.
Each chapter is devoted to one of George Carlin's Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television:
There are also other chapters dealing with variations and synonyms of each word, plus a "Final F*cking Exam" at the end of the book (which is mandatory to pass with a 100%). In short, for those who would like to learn the art of swearing, or would simply like to improve their technique, this book is a good place to start off with.